


We Will Find A Way Through The Dark

by littlelouishiccups



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-05 08:48:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1091956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelouishiccups/pseuds/littlelouishiccups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Harry wonders what life would be like if they hadn’t signed on with Syco after the X-Factor, if they hadn’t agreed to Modest’s terms so freely, if the media wasn’t so completely fucked up. Really, he just wonders what life would be like if the world wasn’t so damn complicated. Would he still have the boys? Would he be able to walk down the street holding Louis’ hand? Would they still be happily together? Or would things be just as difficult as they are now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is a """reality""" fic but i obvi don't own one direction or anything. this is basically just every headcanon i have mushed into one sooo i hope you like it
> 
> also, this is not only my first one direction fic but also my first fic ever so bear with me
> 
> and a special thanks to my betas, [chelsea](http://www.wherestommo.tumblr.com) and [hafsa](http://www.hafsaherazade.tumblr.com) ily guys a lot :)

Harry:

Sometimes Harry wonders what life would be like if they hadn’t signed on with Syco after the X-Factor, if they hadn’t agreed to Modest’s terms so freely, if the media wasn’t so completely fucked up. Really, he just wonders what life would be like if the world wasn’t so damn complicated. Would he still have the boys? Would he be able to walk down the street holding Louis’ hand? Would they still be happily together? Or would things be just as difficult as they are now? These are the things that run through Harry’s head daily. Sometimes they’re provoked by the newest PR stunt he’s being sent on, or by an annoying interviewer, but sometimes they pop up out of nowhere: while he’s in the shower, as he’s trying to fall asleep at night, when he comes home and sees Louis sitting on the couch with that glazed over look on his face. This time it happens while he’s eating a bowl of cereal, leaning against the kitchen counter, when Louis was still asleep and Harry didn’t have it in him to wake him up before he left to spend a much-needed day with his sister. ****

*****

Harry finished the last of his cereal and drank the remaining milk out of the bowl before rinsing it out in the sink and loading it into the dishwasher. His phone buzzed from the table, signaling that he had a text message. He grinned when he saw that it was from Niall. 

**I think u gave me your fcking cold man !**

Harry rolled his eyes 

**At least you get to sleep it off! Take a Vitamin C and stay hydrated.**

Harry didn’t want to wake Louis, so he left his phone on the table while he went back to the bedroom to get dressed. Lou was still passed out, lying almost completely diagonally across the bed on his back, with his head now on Harry’s pillow. It was as if the top half of him had gone searching for Harry after he’d left. Louis always looked so calm and exposed in sleep, his body literally lying open and vulnerable to the world. Not many people got to see that. Louis was always so closed off, covering up any of his weaknesses with his sarcasm and harsh wit. He had become more and more closed off lately and it made Harry’s heart ache.

He changed quickly and quietly into a pair of jeans and a flannel and fumbled with the buttons of his shirt as he walked over to kiss Louis on the forehead before leaving the room. He checked his phone when he reentered the kitchen to see a reply from Niall. 

**Thx dad. See you in a few days , yeah? Say hi to your man for me !! x**

Harry smiled fondly as he typed back a generic reply. He slipped his phone into his back pocket and got a bowl down from the cupboard and a spoon out of a drawer. He set them on the table next to a box of cereal and sat down to write out a short note to Louis. 

_Out with Gemma and Lou. You looked so cute sleeping and didn’t want to wake you! I’ll make you breakfast tomorrow to make up for it, yeah? :) Milk in the fridge! Love you and see you later tonight! x x x x x_

_Oh, and our favorite Irish idiot says hi._

He propped the note up against the cereal box, grabbed his keys, and left the house. The drive to the shops went by quickly enough and Harry texted Paul to let him know what his plans were as he waited for Gemma and Lou. When they arrived he walked into the nearest shop with his head down, but it only took about 25 minutes before two girls -who couldn’t be more than a year younger than him- spotted him. He could tell by the way they started whispering excitedly to each other, but he decided he’d ignore them until they approached. He sat down outside of the changing rooms, waiting for Gemma to come out and model the dress she was trying on. Lou was at the other side of the shop, sorting through a pile of shirts, looking for her size.

Gemma opened the dressing room door and held her hands up in question.

“You look beautiful, as always!” Harry said animatedly.

Gemma rolled her eyes. “Proper opinion, please?”

“I like it, but you should try the green.” Harry replied, with a shrug.

Gemma nodded and turned back into the dressing room.

Harry pulled his phone out of his pocket to see three missed text messages from Louis.

**Shouldve given me a proper waking up before you left babe! ;) Don’t get mobbed by some twat paps like last time, yeah? x**

**Wheres the fucking remote ??**

**Nvm found it. x**

“Hazza” Harry looked up from where he was smiling stupidly at his phone to see Gemma standing there in the green dress.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Much better.”

“Cool,” she said, retreating back into the dressing room once more.

It was then that the two girls finally gathered the courage to approach him.

“Harry?” one of them asked hesitantly.

He took a deep breath and put on his smile, looking up at them.

“Hello loves!” he said brightly. He reached out to shake both of their hands and they introduced themselves as Allison and Clare.

“Would you like a picture, then?” he asked, gesturing towards the phones in their hands.

“Oh!” Allison said, her eyes widening. “Um, if you want! But really we just wanted to come over here and say how much we love you.”

“Yeah,” Clare nodded enthusiastically. “You’re just really lovely and just, thank you for being you, you know? You are just such a great person.”

“You are such an inspiration to us.” Allison continued, her hands flailing. “And the other boys are as well.”

Harry knew he shouldn’t let the words move him as much as they did. After all, these girls didn’t really know him, but his chest tightened with affection anyway.

“Thanks,” he said, his smile turning genuine. “You know we do it all for you guys, right? We love you too.”

They both nodded so fast he thought their heads might pop off.

“So… you don’t mind taking a picture?” Clare asked hopefully, biting her lip.

“No, not at all.” Harry said, standing up. “All together or separately?”

“Together is fine!” Allison squealed, almost jumping up and down in her excitement.

Harry chuckled and looked behind them to Gemma, who had come out of the dressing room again, in her own clothes this time.

“I’ll take it,” she said, reaching for one of the girls’ phones. They posed for the picture, Harry in the middle with his arms around either girl’s waist and then they thanked him again.

“And tell Louis we say hi, yeah?” Clare said with a wink. Harry didn’t know if that was just a coincidence or if they were two of those Larry Stylinson shippers but he nodded anyway. He turned to Gemma when they finally left.

“You better hope they didn’t tweet where you are.” She told him, crossing her arms.

Harry shook his head. “I don’t think they did. They noticed me a while back.”

“They seemed like nice girls.” Lou said, joining them, now holding a shirt in her arms.

Harry nodded. It was fans like Allison and Clare that made it all worth it. As long as he was inspiring people and making them happy, Harry could deal with the lies and the PR stunts and the hiding. Pretending to date a Kardashian wasn’t such a big deal in the long run. Inspiring people and changing lives was what he was here for and if he had to keep a part of himself a secret to do so, he could handle that.

They shopped for another hour, going to two more shops and Harry signed a few autographs that a mom claimed were for her daughters.

“You wanna grab some lunch?” Lou asked as they approached the register at the third shop.

“Could we just order something back at mine?” Harry asked. He’d intended to spend the whole day out with them but all he really wanted to do was go home where he would be able to laugh and joke freely. He wanted to curl up on the couch and watch shit television while Louis played with his hair, and he wanted to face time Niall and maybe see how Liam and Zayn were doing on their days off. He’d seen them only three days ago but it felt more like three weeks.

“Sure, babe.” Lou nodded understandingly as she placed her clothes on the register counter and smiled at the cashier.

Harry texted Louis to let him know he was coming back with guests. A few paparazzi had appeared in the short time they were in the third shop and he waved at them briefly before getting back into his car and driving off.

When they got back to the house Louis was lounging on the couch in sweatpants and one of Harry’s shirts, playing FIFA. He didn’t even acknowledge their presence when they took place in the living room as well, Harry on one side of him and Gemma on the other, Lou sitting in the chair opposite them.

“Your politeness continues to astound me Tomlinson.” Gemma said after a bit.

“Just give me a second, love.” Louis replied, sounding exasperated.

They all turned their attention to the screen and watched until Louis finished his game. Harry cheered and groaned when he was supposed to and clapped his hands slowly when the game ended. Louis exhaled and dropped the gaming control onto the coffee table before turning to Harry.

“Hey, Curly,” he said, leaning over to kiss him briefly. “I ordered Tesco while you were out, so we have food.

The rest of the afternoon was fairly uneventful.  After Harry and Gemma cooked lunch, Lou and Gemma left because Tom called, saying Lux was running a small fever. Louis played another game of FIFA while Harry video chatted with Niall.

“You heard from Liam or Zayn?” Harry asked him.

“Texted Liam last night.” Niall said through a mouthful of chips. “Haven’t heard from Zayn.”

“Zayn’s fine.” Louis said from his spot next to Harry. “Sent me a snapchat video of that stupid cat he and Pez got.”

“Prada?” Niall asked.

“No, Gucci.” Louis said sarcastically, looking over to roll his eyes at Harry.

Niall laughed like it was the funniest joke he’d ever heard and Harry smiled. He and Niall continued to talk about nonsense for about an hour or so, Louis interjecting with his thoughts every now and then. It was obvious when Louis started to get bored. He turned the game off, scooting closer to lay his head on Harry’s shoulder.

 “Nice to see finally see your face, Tommo!” Niall joked.

 “I wish I could say the same.” Louis teased.

Louis started to nuzzle at Harry’s neck and Niall laughed.

“Alright, I guess I’ll leave you guys to it then, yeah?” he asked with a smile.

“Sounds about right, mate.” Louis said, his voice muffled by Harry’s neck.

“We’ll talk to you later, Nialler.” Harry said and Niall was still chuckling as he ended the call.

Harry moved to set the laptop down on the coffee table before fully turning his attention to Louis. He allowed himself to be pushed back onto the couch until he was on his back with Louis straddling him.

“How was your morning?” Louis asked, peppering his face with kisses.

Harry giggled when Louis ran his lips, light as a feather behind his ear, right where he knew Harry was ticklish.

“It was good.” He said. “Ran into two nice fans who say hello, Gemma got a pretty dress, only got papped once.”

“Sounds fun,” Louis said, moving back to rest his chin on Harry’s chest. “Do you have plans tomorrow?”

“Not sure yet,” Harry admitted with a shrug. “Why?”

“I’ve got to do that lunch with Eleanor.” Louis admitted with a slight frown. Harry knew the frown was for his benefit.  Louis didn’t actually mind hanging out with Eleanor. Harry supposed he didn’t mind her much either. It was just the principal of the thing.

“Promise me you’ll find a way to keep yourself busy?” Louis asked, rubbing his hands up and down Harry’s arms.

Harry sighed, ducking his head briefly. “I’ll be fine, Lou.”

Louis raised his eyebrows and Harry grinned at him reassuringly.

“I can handle it.”

“Alright babe, alright.” Louis nodded, leaning forward to kiss Harry. Soon, everything but the two of them was forgotten.


	2. Chapter 2

Louis:

There are times when Louis wishes he’d never even auditioned for the X-Factor, wishes he’d never met Harry Styles, wishes he could just go back to a life in which he was blissfully ignorant of how painful being truly in love can be. Then, there are other times when Louis knows he wouldn’t change a single thing, because no matter how much of a mess things have become, he still has the boys, still has the fans, still has Harry. It’s that thought that helps him sleep at night: no matter how shit things get, he still has Harry. 

*****

Louis rolled over and grabbed his phone from the bed stand, where it was beeping obnoxiously as a series of text messages came in. A brief glance showed that they were all from Eleanor or management, waking him up and telling him not to forget that she would be over at 12:00. Louis checked the time. It was 11:43.

“Shit,” he muttered, throwing back the covers and getting out of bed. He and Harry had been up late the night before, doing a bunch of nothing. Harry cooked breakfast for dinner and they watched telly for hours. Then, Harry cleaned the kitchen while Louis called his mum. It was a rather uneventful night, really, and it was also Louis’s favorite kind.

He stumbled over to the wardrobe and grabbed a pair of jeans and one of his Marvel t-shirts, deciding he didn’t have time to shower. He then walked over to sit at the edge of the bed where he rolled the bottoms of the jeans up over his ankles and slipped on his vans. He felt a dip in the bed behind him and turned around to see Harry sitting up, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands. His hair was matted down on the left side and sticking up on the right.

“Good morning, Sunshine!” Louis shouted, just to be obnoxious. Harry leaned back against the headboard and smiled sleepily.

“When are you leaving?” Harry asked, his voice thick with sleep.

“Eleanor’s meeting me over here in ten.” Louis told him.

“Cool,” Harry replied in a tone that suggested it was the complete opposite of cool.

“We only have to go out twice before we head back to the states, yeah?” Louis said. He knew that he liked having reassurance when Harry had to go out on a stunt so he tried to return the favor.

“Yeah,” Harry said with a sigh, falling over side ways to lay his head on Louis’s pillow. Louis edged closer to Harry and ran a hand through his hair.

“Go back to sleep and I’ll be back before you know it.”

Harry nodded and reached up to thread his fingers though Louis’. Louis ran his thumb over Harry’s cross tattoo before he stood back up and retreated into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Harry joined him, picking a shirt up off the ground and sliding it over his head.

“I take it you’re not going back to sleep, then?” Louis asked, making eye contact with Harry in the bathroom mirror.

Harry shrugged, a slight frown on his face. “I’ll watch some telly or something.”

Louis hated seeing Harry like this. He often wondered who had it worse. Sure, Louis had a fake girlfriend, but Harry had fake one-night stands and fake dates, and a bullshit womanizer image. And yeah, Louis hated it when Harry was sent off on one of management’s newest schemes, and it made him sick to hear lies about Harry in interviews and on the news, but he knew Harry hated seeing Louis with Eleanor even more. It was easy to brush off a supposed single date in an interview, but Louis was in a supposed committed relationship. It was a constant thing and Harry never got a break from it, never got Louis completely to himself.

Louis looked down as his phone beeped again, a text from Eleanor.

**I’m Here!**

Louis quickly typed out a reply.

**Come in for a bit if you want , not quite ready . Harry’s having a tough time :/**

“She’s here.” Louis said to Harry. Harry’s only response was a sigh so Louis crowded him against the bathroom sink and leaned up to kiss him. Harry wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in close. Louis pulled back and rested his head against Harry’s shoulder until he could hear Eleanor knocking on the front door. He untangled himself from Harry’s arms and placed a kiss on his cheek before giving it a light smack and then leaving to answer the door.

“Hello, love!” he said brightly when he opened the door to Eleanor’s smile. She was dressed stylishly, as always, in tight black pants and a red pea-coat. Her hair was pulled up into a knot at the top of her head and a fluffy scarf was wrapped around her neck.

“Harry’s not doing so hot, yeah?” she asked sympathetically as Louis ushered her inside and closed the door behind her.

Louis shook his head gravely. “The first one after a dry spell always hits him hard, you know that.”

Eleanor nodded with a sad smile, a crease forming between her eyebrows.

“Well, sit down or something.” Louis said, gesturing towards the couch. “I’ll be right back.”

When he re-entered the bedroom, Harry was sitting on the foot of the bed with his head in his hands. Louis walked over to him and pushed himself in between Harry’s legs. He put a hand under Harry’s chin and forced him to look up.

“Don’t sulk, babe.” Louis said sternly. “I’ll be back before you know it.

“I’m fine, Lou.” Harry replied gruffly, which meant that he was most definitely not fine.

“Yeah, alright.” Louis rolled his eyes. He moved to grab a coat from the chair sitting in the corner, pulled a beanie on over his head, and left the room. Eleanor was sitting on the couch in the living room, playing a game on her phone.

“You ready?” she asked, standing up as Louis walked back into the room.

He nodded and Eleanor waved at Harry, who had followed Louis out from the bedroom.

“I’ll take good care of him, yeah?” she reassured Harry in a serious tone.

Louis turned to look at Harry as he nodded slowly and raked his fingers roughly through his hair. He looked down at the floor and bit his lip. 

“Thanks, Eleanor.” He murmured, not making eye contact.

Louis supposed that was as good as they’d get, so he ushered Eleanor outside and pulled his phone out as soon as the door was closed and locked behind them. He sent out a group text to Gemma and Niall.

**Out w/ Eleanor. Hazza’s pretty upset. Don’t let him think to much please ? x**

The drive to the café was spent catching up on each other’s lives. Louis asked Eleanor about university and she told him about the courses she was taking, the teachers she hated and the new friend she’d made. She asked him about the end of tour and he apologized again for management having to fly her out after that night he and Harry had gotten a little to close at that club.

She shrugged. “It’s alright. You know I don’t mind.”

“Yeah,” Louis allowed. “But I mind.”

“No,” Eleanor corrected, turning in her seat to look at him. “Harry minds, and it’s because Harry minds that you mind.”

“You know it’s the same thing.” He looked over at her with raised eyebrows. Louis and Harry’s moods were more in sync than a lot of people realized.

They passed the café and parked a few blocks down so they could be papped walking over. Louis left his phone in the glove compartment of the car because he knew he’d be checking the damn thing every few minutes if he had it with him. Their PR team said it made him look disinterested in Eleanor, and we couldn’t have that now could we?

Lunch was more of the same, Eleanor talked about University and the party she went to last weekend and Louis listened, trying his best to look interested. They held hands when they knew they were being watched and Louis signed a couple of autographs for fans, taking a picture with one small girl who looked about seven. The weather was cold and dreary and Louis supposed that could be a metaphor for how he felt for leaving Harry back at the house alone.

When they got back into the car about and hour and a half later, Louis checked his phone to see two missed texts, one from Gemma at 12:42:

**You have major damage control to do Tomlinson. He’s really upset. Says you didn’t even kiss him goodbye.**

And one from Niall from only a few minutes before:

**Talked to him for a small while but he’s real sad mate !! I texted payno. He’s better at the comforting thing .**

“Fuck,” Louis slammed his head back against the seat.

“What?” Eleanor asked him as she buckled her seatbelt. She pulled the passenger mirror down to check her hair and makeup before looking over at Louis expectantly. 

“Nothing,” Louis sighed. “Well, Harry. But I’ll fix it.”

“Tell him I’m sorry?” she asked, her eyes wide and a small smile on her lips.

Louis nodded but knew he wouldn’t. Harry didn’t want to hear about Eleanor any more than necessary. Louis shouldn’t have even let her come in the house earlier. Harry probably couldn’t even walk into the living room anymore without seeing her sitting on the couch. 

They drove back to the house without saying much to each other. Eleanor leaned over to turn on the radio and they both hummed along. When they reached the house Eleanor reached over the console to squeeze Louis’ arm reassuringly. He took the keys out of the ignition and returned the gesture with a sigh.

“See you again day after tomorrow!” Eleanor said brightly as she reached for the door handle.

“Yep,” Louis said, as he stepped out. He waved as she got into her car and drove away.

When he entered the house he could hear Liam’s voice coming from the bedroom, sounding like it was coming through speakerphone.

“You know she’s being dragged into this just like the rest of us, Harry,” he was saying. 

Louis waited outside of the bedroom, listening for Harry’s reply. He wanted to know just how much damage control he would need to be doing.

“Yeah, and she gets her fucking paycheck at the end of it as well.” Harry spat out bitterly. “Don’t try to make her the victim here, Liam.”

A lot. There was going to need to be a lot of damage control.

“None of us really knew what we were signing up for, mate.” Liam said patiently. “And I know that you know Louis would rather be with you than Eleanor right now.”

“Smelleanor,” Harry muttered under his breath.

Liam chuckled. “It’ll all be fine, Haz. I wouldn’t read too much into him not kissing you before he left. I bet Lou was just trying to get out and back as soon as possible.”

“You’re right, and I was already feeling upset so that probably just made it worse.” Harry admitted. “Also, he’s back, but he’s standing in the hallway trying to listen in inconspicuously.”

Louis rolled his eyes and busted into the bedroom noisily, flopping down onto the bed next to Harry. Haz didn’t even react and he was still dressed in only his underwear and the dirty t-shirt he’d picked up off the floor that morning. Louis felt his stomach drop even more.

“Hey Lou!” Liam said happily from the small screen of Harry’s phone. They were face-timing.

“Looks like you’re in good hands now, Harry.” Liam smiled. “I’ve got to get back to Sophia, but I’ll see you lads in a few days, alright?”

“Who the fuck is Sophia?” Louis asked, as per usual.

“Shut up.” Liam said without any real heat, before ending the call.

Louis got up on his knees and wrapped himself around Harry from behind. He felt the hesitation but eventually Harry leaned his head back to rest on his shoulder. Louis rubbed his face in Harry’s hair obnoxiously.

“Stop.” Harry mumbled, but Louis could hear the smile in his voice.

“Are you mad at me?” Louis asked, nudging at Harry’s cheek with his nose.

“No, not at you,” Harry said with a sigh. “I’m just mad.”

Louis moved his hands up under Harry’s shirt and rubbed at the butterfly tattoo on his stomach. “Don’t be mad, love. It is what it is, yeah?”

“You won’t be saying that when we’re back in the states and I have to be photographed with some new girl The Douche Squad has picked out or when we have to deny us for the millionth time in some interview.” Harry said, grabbing Louis’s hands and pushing away from him.

Which was true- it was normally Harry who was doing the comforting, and Louis who was upset. It continued to piss him off that Modest still allowed questions about their relationship to even be asked. It almost felt like a personal attack every time it happened, as the questions were asked for the sole purpose of being denied. Each time was like a slap in the face, a reminder that Harry and Louis weren’t really in control of their own lives.

Harry stood up and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Louis kicked off his shoes and waited patiently for him to return. He would cheer him up if it killed him. There was nothing that upset Louis more than an upset Harry. Harry was supposed to be goofy and sunshine at all times, none of this dark and stormy closed off shit. Louis pulled his phone out to text Gemma and Niall back, texting Niall a thank you first.

**Thx Ni, he’s a right mess but I’ll cheer him up ! x**

He sent a sassy reply to Gemma, because that was just how they did things.

**It upset niall when you didn’t kiss him goodbye last week as well.**

He couldn’t leave it at that though.

**Working on it. x**

Louis thought on it and decided to send a thank you to Liam too. He’d just hit send when Harry walked back out of the bathroom and just stood in the doorway, looking at him. Louis laid back and held his arms open. Harry smirked and walked over to lie down at his side and Louis turned over so that he was looking at Harry, leaning up on one elbow.

“You know I love you, right?” Louis asked.

Harry looked up at him with his sad eyes. “Yeah, I know.”

Louis scoffed and threw his head back dramatically. “What, and you don’t love me back? I’m quite offended Harold. Here I was, worried that I broke your heart-”

Harry cut him off with a shove and a roll of his eyes. He moved up to push Louis back against the pillows and crowded into Louis space. He straddled him and sat back onto Louis’ stomach.

“You’re an idiot.” Harry mumbled, with a slight shake of his head.

“I’m your idiot though, and that’s got to count for something.” Louis grinned, propping himself up onto his elbows so that he and Harry were almost face to face. “Everyone else is fighting for my attention. Just two days ago Zayn told me that he was jealous of you.”

“Zayn did not say that.” Harry let out an exasperated laugh.

Louis sighed in relief at that laugh. “Well, maybe he didn’t. We all know he was thinking it though.”

“I think we all know you’re full of shit.” Harry laughed again, his dimples making an appearance this time and his shoulders shaking.

He leaned down and pushed Louis back into the mattress and Louis wrapped his arms around his neck as their lips met. Harry kissed Louis deeply before moving over to attach his mouth to Louis’s neck and Louis knew he was telling him in actions, rather than words, exactly how devastated he had been feeling since they’d woken up that morning.

“Don’t leave a mark.” Louis gasped.

“Why not?” Harry breathed, the air tickling Louis’ wet skin. “You saw your girlfriend today. It could be from her. The Douche Squad will probably be thrilled.”

He nipped at Louis’s neck and Louis groaned.

“Fair enough.”

Harry continued his work at Louis’s neck and Louis tangled his fingers in Harry’s knotted hair. Harry grinded down against Louis and he could feel just how hard both of them were becoming. Louis thrust up, meeting Harry’s movements and Harry pulled back with a gasp.

Louis took that as an opportunity to turn them so that he was on top, with Harry’s legs still wrapped around him. He pushed Harry’s t-shirt up off of his head and threw it to the side and ran his hands over the tattoos decorating Harry’s chest, the birds that symbolized the two of them. Harry bucked his hips up and Louis took that to mean he wanted to get this show on the road.

“Cheeky,” he teased, leaning down to capture Harry’s lips with his own.

Harry’s only response was to tug at the hem of Louis’ shirt. Louis moved his hands away and yanked it off himself, before throwing it to join Harry’s on the floor. They both rid themselves of the rest of their clothing and Louis leaned down to kiss him again. He clutched a hand in Harry’s hair and Harry gripped at his hips hard enough to leave bruises as Louis started grinding down against him. Harry arched his back, wanting more contact. He reached down to grab Louis’s cock and started jacking him quickly. It wasn’t slow or careful or precise, like it usually was when it came to Harry. It was hard and desperate, as if he was trying to prove some kind of point, that Louis was Harry’s and Harry’s only. He twisted his wrist in all the ways he knew Louis liked, making him squirm and moan. It didn’t take long for Louis to start thrusting back into Harry’s fist, and then it was over quickly. He came with his back arched and then collapsed against Harry’s chest, panting heavily.

Once Louis caught his breath, he propped himself up with a hand on Harry’s chest and reached in between their bodies with the other. Harry smiled up at him and placed his hands on his shoulders. Louis took things slower than Harry had, proving a different point. He needed to show Harry that there was no reason to be jealous or insecure, that Louis adored him and would always give him anything he needed. Louis leaned down to kiss Harry, his cheeks, his nose, his lips, before moving farther down to kiss and suck his collarbones, all the while driving him crazy with his hand.

“Lou,” Harry panted, telling him he was close.

“I’ve got you, babe.” Louis murmured, moving back up to capture Harry’s lips with his own. Harry came a few seconds later with a long, low groan. Louis rolled off of him onto his back and Harry reached in between them to intertwine their fingers. They lay there in silence for a few moments, both staring at the ceiling.

“I love you, too.” Harry said after a little while, still slightly out of breath.

Louis gave Harry’s hand a squeeze.

“I know.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, i don't own one direction. this all comes from my imagination

Harry woke up two days later with Louis’ head resting against his naked chest and an arm wrapped around his waist. He glanced over at the clock on their bedside table, seeing that they’d slept well into the afternoon. They needed to stop doing that on their days off; it just made it harder to get back into a regular sleepless schedule. Harry sighed and reached up to rest his arm on Louis’ back and began running his fingers through his hair. It only took a few moments for Louis to wake up after that. He stretched his legs out and lifted his head to look at Harry with sleepy eyes and a content smile.

“Time is it?” he asked with a yawn.

“Just after two,” Harry replied, yawning as well. “We probably shouldn’t have stayed up so late watching that movie.”

Louis moved so that he was lying between Harry’s legs and crossed his arms over Harry’s chest, resting his chin on his hands. Harry looked down at him and grinned. Louis winked at him.

“You need to pack this afternoon.” Harry told Louis sternly, narrowing his eyes. “I’m not doing it for you like last time.”

Louis groaned and scrunched up his face. “I hate packing.”

Harry huffed out a laugh. “I know you do.”

“I’ll give you a blow job if you pack for me.” Louis wiggled his eyebrows.

Harry just looked at him.

“Ugh,” Louis sighed dramatically. “What time is our flight tomorrow anyway?”

“Not ‘til mid-morning,” Harry assured him. “But pack today.”

“Fine, mum.” Louis rolled his eyes fondly. He turned his head to rest his cheek on one of his hands, moving the other to trace circles on Harry’s skin.

“What time is the game tonight?” Harry asked Louis quietly. Louis was going to watch a footie game with Eleanor that night, their last stunt before the band headed to the States for a week of promotion.

“Game’s at 7:30,” Louis replied softly. “Dinner’s at 6:00.”

They spent what they could of their day just being together. They showered together and Harry made lunch while Louis sat on the counter and watched. Harry did a load of laundry and they started packing for their time in the states. Louis pulled up the weather online to see what they should expect and before they knew it, it was a quarter to 6:00 and Louis’ car was waiting outside.

Harry kissed Louis deeply and desperately at the door before he left with a sad smile and a whispered “I love you” and then he turned around to the empty house. He felt like he’d been punched in the gut, but ge took a deep breath before heading to the bedroom to finish packing.

By 9:00, he had driven himself crazy and he needed to get out of the house. Niall was still in Ireland and Zayn and Liam were spending their last nights with Perrie and Sophia so Harry decided to text Nick. He always had fun with Nick.

**You got plans tonight/work in the morning?**

His response came just a few seconds later.

**Nope : )**

Harry smiled triumphantly as he typed out a second text.

**Let’s go get fucked.**

Nick responded almost immediately.

**Ahhhhh hell yesss!!!**

*****

Louis:

Louis’ night was miles better than Harry’s. He’d had a very enlightening dinner with Eleanor, in which she told him her lawyer had called her the day before to let her know that her contract with the One Direction PR team was going to be up sooner than they’d previously thought. 

“We signed for two years and a possible re-up for another year this month.” She told Louis excitedly. “But I never actually signed on for three years.”

“Are you fucking with me?” Louis asked her, his knees bouncing uncontrollably under the table.

“Nope!” Eleanor squealed, her eyes shining brightly. “It’s all in the fine print but my mum called Sandra up because she knows how tough this has been lately and Sandra re-examined everything. She can meet up with your lawyer but we’re kind of already off the hook; just need to run a break up plan by Modest and then we’re golden.”

“Holy shit.” Louis smile was so big his face started to hurt.

*****

“Harry?” Louis called out when he got home, ready to share the exciting news. When he didn’t get an answer he tossed his keys onto the kitchen table and made his way to the bedroom, wondering if Harry was already asleep or in the shower. What he got instead was a note on his pillow.

_Out with Grimmy. Be back late. Don’t wait up. x_

“Fuck,” Louis wanted to punch something. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Harry, and he knew Grimshaw would never actually try anything. He also knew how much Grimshaw liked Harry and it always made him uncomfortable when they were out together. He hated Grimmy, often thought there was something seriously wrong with a thirty year old with a desperate crush on Harry, who people often forgot was only nineteen years old. He was rude to Louis as well, for no reason except jealousy. Louis had pointed this out to Harry once, but Harry, who only ever liked to see the good in people, told Lou he was being dramatic. Louis didn’t push it, because he didn’t want to tell Harry who he could and couldn’t be friends with, no matter how much he disliked said friends. 

Louis looked at the clock. It was only 11:00 and Nick would keep Harry out until at least 2:00, even though they had a flight the next day. He threw himself onto the bed, face down and took a few deep breaths before sending a text to Zayn.

**guess where haz is -_-**

Louis knew Zayn would take a while to respond so he went into the kitchen to make himself a bowl of cereal. His phone beeped just as he was walking back into the bedroom with bowl in hand.

**i’m guessing not in bed with you? ha**

Louis huffed and placed the bowl on the bedside table before replying.

**with grimshaw...**

Zayn responded much more quickly to that.

**well you had that thing will el tonight right? kinda to be expected. x**

Louis didn’t text him back, because he was angry and also because he knew Zayn was right. He couldn’t fault Harry for wanting to get out of the house while he was out with Eleanor. At least when Harry went on most of his stunts it was while they were away, and Louis could just walk over to one of the other boys’ hotel rooms to avoid over thinking. Most of Louis’ stunts with Eleanor were at home, while the other boys were spending time with their own families and friends.

Harry had said not to wait up, but Louis wouldn’t be able to go to sleep until he knew he was home safe, so he busied himself doing random things. He took a long shower and changed into his pajamas to finish packing, all of which only took him about an hour, so he decided he’d spend the rest of the time playing FIFA. It was after three and it was getting hard for him to keep his eyes open, when someone knocked on the door. Louis tossed the video game remote to the side and opened the door to Mike, one of their bodyguards, holding up a very disheveled, very drunk Harry. Louis’ news would have to wait until morning.

“I believe this belongs to you.” Mike said, handing Harry over to Louis, who wrapped an arm around his waist.

“Louuuuu,” Harry sang, throwing his head back with a giggle. 

“Thanks, mate.” Louis said to Mike, with an appreciative smile.

“No problem,” Mike nodded and turned around to leave. Louis locked the door behind him before leading Harry to the bedroom. He sat him down on the bed and started removing Harry’s clothes.

“Lou,” Harry mumbled as Louis undid the buttons on shirt.

“Mmm,” Louis acknowledged him, sliding the shirt off of Harry’s shoulders.

“You’re really cute.” Harry told him, reaching up to pinch one of Louis’ cheeks. “Did you know you’re really cute?”

“I’ve been told.” Louis chuckled.

“Am I really cute?” Harry asked, blinking at Louis with red eyes and a sloppy grin.

“The cutest.” Louis assured him as he knelt to down to rid Harry of his jeans.

“Are you gonna blow me, Lou?” Harry asked breathily when Louis started sliding the jeans down over his hips.

“Maybe later.”

“No, now.” Harry whined and pouted his lips.

Louis leaned up to kiss the pout away and Harry sloppily returned the kiss, putting his hands on either side of Louis’ face and holding him in place. He tasted awful, like vodka and smoke, but Louis obliged him for a while anyway. When he pulled away after a few moments, Harry whimpered pathetically.

Louis finally pulled Harry’s jeans all the way off and tossed them in the direction of the dirty clothes hamper.

“Lay down. Get under the covers.” Louis ordered. “I’ll be right back.”

He made his way through the house, turning off all of the lights and filling up a glass of water before coming back and brushing his teeth and going to the bathroom. He pulled a bottle of aspirin out of the cabinet and when he came back out into the bedroom Harry was lying back with his hands clasped behind his head, a wide silly grin on his face. Louis laughed internally; knowing that Harry still thought sex was on the table. He placed the water and aspirin down on Harry’s bedside table before walking over to his side of the bed, feeling Harry’s eyes follow him the entire way.

Louis got under the covers and leaned over to turn off the lamp on his bedside table. He lay back down and it took about two seconds before Harry was pressed against him from head to toe from behind, his hand trying to find its way into the waistband of Louis’ pajama pants.

“Not tonight, Haz.” Louis stopped Harry’s hand with his own, linking their fingers.

Harry tried a different technique, attaching his mouth to Louis’ neck.

“Harry, no.” Louis groaned, still trying to sound stern when he knew he’d be done for if Harry kept this up.

“But, Lou,” Harry whined, nibbling at his ear. “I’ll make you feel good.”

“I know you will, babe.” Louis said slowly, rubbing Harry’s thumb with his own. “But not tonight, okay? I’m tired and we have a busy day tomorrow. Maybe in the morning, yeah?”

It was silent for a moment as Harry thought over Louis’ words.

“Yeah,” he said finally. “Okay.”

He was snoring softly into Louis’ ear less than five minutes later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im on [tumblr](http://www.quixoticvisions.tumblr.com) if anyone wants to come say hi :)
> 
> also, comments would be much appreciated it. i have no idea if anyone is enjoying this fic or not.


	4. Chapter 4

Niall: 

Not a lot of things made Niall Horan angry. He could probably list the amount of times he had really truly been angry on one hand, and at least four out of five of those times had to do with watching his best mates be forced to live a lie. The trouble was that the lies seemed to be more frequent lately, which put a strain on Harry and Louis’ relationship, and therefore a strain on the band.

He wasn’t surprised to see a pouty Harry when they met at the airport for their flight to the states, because Lou had been out with Eleanor the night before, but he was extremely surprised to see an even poutier Lou. Louis didn’t pout, he fumed and yelled and let everyone know exactly how and why he was angry and what they needed to do to fix it. Suffering quietly was not his style. 

“What’s Lou’s problem?” Niall asked Harry as they made their way through VIP security.

“Hell if I know,” Harry huffed taking off his shoes. “He’s been acting like a twat all day.”

Niall narrowed his eyebrows in confusion. And it wasn’t Harry’s style to just let Louis wallow in self pity.

“Harry went out with Grimshaw last night,” Zayn whispered into Niall’s ear from his spot in line behind him, as Harry made his way through the metal detector.

Well, okay then.

“It’s gonna be such a pain being on a plane with those two for seven hours,” Liam muttered from behind Zayn and Niall nodded his agreement.

They all made their way through security and sat down to put their shoes and jackets back on- Louis and Harry next to each other without talking, and Niall, Liam, and Zayn grouped together.

“I’m not sitting next to Louis,” Niall muttered, putting a finger to his nose.

“For fuck’s sake,” Zayn grumbled. “Oi!”

Harry and Louis both looked over at Zayn. “You two figure your shit out before we get on this fucking plane, yeah?”

“You maybe wanna fuck off, mate?” Louis retorted, raising his eyebrows.

“Lads,” Liam said from where he was bent over his feet, tying his laces. “Let’s not get in a fight minutes before a flight over the Atlantic. Please.”

“I agree with Liam,” Paul said. “Because I have your boarding passes here and Niall, you’re sitting next to Louis and Harry. Liam and Zayn are with me.”

Niall threw his head back and groaned while Zayn laughed at his misfortune.

“You know it won’t last, mate.” Liam reassured Niall. “Harry can’t take an upset Louis for too long and once Harry starts flirting with him Louis will be over it in seconds.”

“Why are you lot talking about us like we’re not right here?” Louis asked indignantly.

Harry stood up suddenly and everyone turned to look at him.

“I’m just going to the loo,” he rolled his eyes. “Jesus.”

Niall hopped up. “Me too.”

They made their way to the bathroom in silence, a bodyguard behind them, and on their way back Niall decided he would ask about Louis again, because he knew Harry always knew what was up when it came to Louis.

“What’s the matter with Lou, Harry?”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. I was really hungover this morning and he was going on and on about needing to tell me something and I snapped at him. He got all defensive and said that he wasn’t the one who got smashed last night and I said that I wasn’t the one out with my fake girlfriend. He trashed Nick and we got in a stupid fight. Haven’t really talked since.”

Niall nodded in understanding. Nick and Eleanor were both touchy subjects and any fight about either of them had to have been a rough one. Harry genuinely loved having Nick as a friend even though Louis didn’t care for him, and Louis actually really enjoyed Eleanor’s company and he hated when Harry got snippy about her. He always argued that it wasn’t his fault and that Eleanor was just doing her job.

“Did you ever find out what he needed to tell you?” Niall asked, kind of curious himself.

“No,” Harry shook his head. “I’ll ask him on the plane, I suppose.”

“So, you’re not gonna stay mad at him?”

Harry smiled weakly. “You know I can’t stay mad at him, Niall.”

Niall grinned and nudged Harry’s shoulder playfully with his own. “Yeah Harry, I know.”

Their plane was boarding when they got back to the gate so Niall and Harry got in line next to Louis. He ignored them in favor of listening to some story Zayn was telling about a prank he and his sisters had played on his mum during the break. Harry sighed and moved to stand closely behind Louis. He ran his fingers down Louis’ arm and Louis leaned back into the touch briefly. Niall smiled to himself. While Louis hadn’t acknowledged Harry with words or a look, Niall knew that small interaction was an apology from the both of them. 

When they boarded the plane Louis sat by the window with Harry in the middle and Niall on the aisle and Liam and Zayn sat across the aisle from them. Their publicist handed each of them the week’s itinerary to look over at some point during the flight and then the flight attendants made their ways down the aisles, making sure bags were stored and everyone was ready for take off. When the captain’s voice came on over the speakers to welcome them aboard, Niall looked over to see Harry reaching for Louis’ hand. 

“So, what did you need to tell me?” Harry asked once the plane was in the air.

“I would have rather talked about it in private,” Louis replied huffily. 

“What, like I won’t find out sooner or later?” Niall leaned over Harry to roll his eyes at Louis.

“It’s kind of a big deal,” Louis said with a shrug.

“Are you pregnant?” Harry asked, laughing at his own joke. Niall guffawed. Louis looked up in desperation, as if asking God what he had done to suffer the misfortune of having friends who made terrible jokes. 

“I’m kidding, Lou.” Harry nudged him with his shoulder. “What is it?”

Louis took a deep breath before looking seriously into Harry’s eyes.

“Eleanor’s contract is almost up.” 

*****

Louis: 

Harry’s expression was shocked.

“What?” He breathed.

Louis nodded and smiled before rehashing the story to both Harry and Niall; telling them all about Eleanor’s lawyer and the need for a break up plan.

“Wait, so a break up is happening, it’s just up to management when and how?” Niall asked excitedly.

“Yeah, a break up is definitely happening,” Louis reassured both Harry and Niall. “El is ready to have her life back. She isn’t going to re-sign. Management has no control over that, but they do get to approve how the break up is leaked. Eleanor’s lawyer is gonna schedule a meeting for the day after we get back from the States.”

“That’s awesome, guys!” Niall exclaimed, smiling. “Happy for ya!”

Harry wasn’t saying anything so Louis squeezed his hand, slightly worried. “You alright, love? Aren’t you excited?”

“Of course.” Harry smiled weakly. “I’m really happy for you, Lou.”

“But?” Louis prompted.

“But it doesn’t change all that much, now does it?”

“What do you mean?”

Harry shrugged. “We’ll still be closeted. What makes you think The Douche Squad won’t find some new beard for you? I’ll probably have to go out twice as much to make up for it all.”

Louis looked down at their hands. “This is good news, Haz.”

“I know it is, Louis,” Harry murmured. “I know. But we still have a long way to go yet. Let’s not forget that.”

They had their first night in New York off because they had arrived so late, and were driven directly to their hotel from the airport. Zayn had slept the entire flight and was perky as shit while Harry, Liam and Niall had all fallen asleep in the car. Liam was resting his head against the window and Niall had his head on Liam’s shoulder with Harry leaning against Louis. Louis had dozed off and on throughout the flight and was only faintly tired from staying up late the night before and the argument that morning. 

“Louis, you maybe wanna rent a film on the telly when we get to the hotel?” Zayn asked hopefully, practically bouncing up and down in his seat.

“Erm, not really mate,” Louis said apologetically. “Kind of ready for this day to be over with if I’m honest.”

“Kind of ready to go fuck Harry’s brains out, more like,” Zayn huffed, eyeing where his hand was placed high up on Harry’s thigh.

Louis grinned cheekily and winked. “It he’s up for it, my friend. Harold is the king of make up sex.”

“That is not something I needed to know.” Zayn said with a frown and Paul coughed from the passenger seat as if to remind them of his presence.

“That’s something I’m sad to say I already knew.” Niall mumbled, his eyes still closed and his head still on Liam’s shoulder.

Louis chuckled, but it was true. Harry was always extremely generous and responsive in bed after a spat. However, the fact that they had made up before a seven hour flight kind of put a damper on the whole spontaneous let’s-make-up-right-this-instant make up sex thing that they usually did. Plus, Harry was tired. Harry usually got grumpy when he was tired. 

“Alright, boys, we’re here,” Paul told them as they pulled up to the front of the hotel. 

Niall sat up and poked Liam in the side repeatedly until he opened his eyes. Louis nudged Harry awake as well.

“I’ll arrange wake up calls for 9:00 tomorrow morning and plan on leaving by 9:45,” Their publicist informed them as she handed each of them their room keys. “You have a long day of press ahead of you so I suggest you get a good night’s sleep.”

“Cheers, darling,” Liam said with a smile.

Liam, Louis, and Harry were all on the same floor, while Niall and Zayn were on another. Louis and Harry were each assigned their own room for formality’s sake, but they always shared. Harry’s assigned room was further from the elevator and closer to Liam’s so they picked that one, because it would see less traffic and the closer to their bandmates the better. 

“What time is it?” Harry asked as he dead bolted the door behind them. Louis looked at the clock on the bedside table.

“Half one,”

Harry yawned and turned to the bathroom. Louis dragged both of their suitcases over to the foot of the bed and opened his, pulling out his toiletries kit. He rummaged through it to find a bottle of lube, which he placed on the bedside table before grabbing his toothbrush and joining Harry in the bathroom. 

Harry was flushing the toilet when Louis walked in and he pulled his jeans back up but left them unbuttoned. He watched Louis’ movements in the mirror as he brushed his teeth.

“I forgot my toothbrush,” he announced.

Louis spat into the sink, ran the water over his toothbrush and handed it over to Harry, who accepted it wordlessly. He left the bathroom while Harry brushed his teeth, took off all his clothes and got into the bed. He could hear Harry finishing up in the bathroom, and he could see the sink and light being turned off from around the corner before Harry emerged, pulling his sweater off over his head. He glanced at the bedside table, presumably to check the time and stopped in his tracks when he saw the bottle of lube, and turned to look at Louis, who raised his eyebrows at him.

“I’m tired, Lou,” Harry mumbled as got rid of his jeans and joined Louis under the covers.

Louis was having none of that. He rolled over so that he was draped over Harry with an arm resting on his chest and a leg in between Harry’s own.

“You owe me after last night,” Louis said in a sing-song voice, tapping the tip of Harry’s nose with his finger.

“Last night?”

“Yeah, I was trying to go to sleep and you started groping me. I was very gentlemanly and refrained from taking advantage and it was a very tough time.”

Louis sighed dramatically and looked at Harry with wide eyes

“Boo Bear, do me a favor and go cry me a river.”

Louis’s heart swelled a tiny bit at the cheesy nickname. Harry hadn’t called him that in a while.

“Haroooold,” He whined, kicking his legs as if he were a toddler throwing a tantrum. “I want to have make-up sex.”

“Lewiiiis,” Harry mimicked. He laughed and turned his body so that he was facing Louis. “We already made up.”

“Then let’s get into another fight,” Louis suggested, running his fingers up and down Harry’s side. 

“I don’t want to get into another fight,” Harry told him. “Plus, we still have things we need to discuss.”  
Louis grinned mischievously. He pushed Harry so that he was lying on his back and moved up to straddle him, bending down to kiss his neck. “You can discuss and I’ll listen.” 

Harry tilted his neck to the side to give Louis easier access, “I don’t want this break up with Eleanor to backfire on us.” 

“Mmm,” Louis hummed into Harry’s neck. “Let’s not worry about that right now, love.”

He began to kiss his way down Harry’s chest and stomach and Harry grabbed his chin, forcing Louis to look at him. “But this is a big deal, Lou. This is a game changer.”

Louis grabbed Harry’s hands and pinned them to the bed on either side of his body, bending down to kiss his hip bone. “We’ll take it one step at a time, yeah?”

“But, Lou-” 

Whatever Harry had been about to say was cut off and turned into a gasp as Louis took his cock into his mouth. Louis tried not to feel too satisfied about the fact that he’d made Harry lose his train of thought. He took his time, teasing with his tongue, and he could tell by the way Harry was squirming that he was fighting not to buck up into his mouth. Louis let go of his hands and Harry immediately placed them on his head, running his fingers through his hair. 

Louis pulled back for a moment. “Weren’t you saying something, Curly?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Harry laughed weakly, breathless.

Louis chuckled, please to have gotten his way but not all that surprised. He kissed Harry’s thigh before moving back up to kiss him on the mouth. Harry kissed back eagerly and Louis ran his hands through his hair, his fingers occasionally getting caught in the tangled curls. All the while, Harry had his hands on his hips, and he pulled Louis down to grind their hips together briefly before reaching to grab the lube from the bedside table. He practically tossed it into Louis’ face before placing his hands back on his hips

Louis squeezed a bit of the lube onto his fingers and reached in between them and began to finger Harry open. For a while, the only sounds in the room were Harry’s breathy moans and cut off curses. The sounds were heady and Louis knew he could finger Harry open for days if he had the chance. He could get drunk off of Harry. He loved that nobody else got to see Harry like this, that he was the only one, that Harry had chosen him. 

“Babe,” Harry gasped once Louis was three fingers deep. “Baby, I’m ready.”

Louis didn’t need to be told twice. He quickly pulled his fingers out, earning himself a grunt from Harry, before slicking himself up and pushing in. 

“Fuck,” they moaned simultaneously. 

“Jinx” Harry giggled.

Louis laughed and began to thrust into Harry slowly and Harry threw an arm around Louis’ neck, pulling him down for a kiss before reaching down to jack himself in time with the thrusts. This was Louis’ favorite Harry: the one that joked in bed moments before losing himself in the moment. He looked so fucking beautiful and sometimes Louis couldn’t believe his luck.

“Close,” Harry breathed, his voice wrecked and his face tinged pink. Louis quickened his pace and not long after, Harry spilled out onto his stomach with a grown and he looked so fucking beautiful that Louis forgot to breathe. He smiled up at Louis, who wasn’t far behind, and bit his lip. He clenched his ass around Louis and Louis’ eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head. Harry ran his hands up Louis’ trembling thighs and it only took a few more thrusts for Louis to come. He collapsed onto Harry’s chest, turning his head slightly to the side to place a small kiss to his shoulder. His body moved up and down with Harry’s heavy breaths.

“Proud of yourself aren’t you?” Harry teased after a few minutes, tracing patterns onto Louis’ back with his fingers.

Louis looked up and shrugged, faking nonchalance. “A bit, yeah.”

Harry shook his head and laughed.

“We’re going to have that talk tomorrow.”

“Sounds good, babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so idk how "realistic" this whole elounor break up/contract ending unexpectedly thing is but we're just gonna run with it bc i want an elounor break up so badly i could cry.
> 
> as always, leave comments if you liked it :)


	5. Chapter 5

Harry: 

It was late on Monday night when Harry and Louis finally entered their house in London. After a long week of promotions and interviews and photo shoots for the new album, Harry was exhausted and he wanted to sleep for several days. However, he knew they’d only be home for two nights before they started promotions around Europe. With a newly single Louis, that was sure to be interesting. 

As expected, after Eleanor called to set up a meeting with management, all questions about relationship statuses had been banned from the week of promotions in The States. Harry was curious to see how everything else would play out now that Eleanor’s contract was up. He had a feeling that it wouldn’t work out in his favor.

“Home, sweet home,” Louis sighed as he headed towards the bedroom, both his and Harry’s suitcases in hand. Harry watched him disappear around the corner before turning to head to the kitchen. He’d promised Louis a home-cooked meal on the plane, so he opened the refrigerator to see what he had to work with. He decided on pasta, simply because it wouldn’t take much effort.

He had water on the stove and was cutting vegetables for a salad when Louis joined him, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist from behind and kissing him on the neck.

“What are you making?” He asked, resting his chin on Harry’s shoulder.

“Fettuccini,” Harry replied, reaching up to push his hair out of his face.

“Yum,” Louis said, squeezing his arms around Harry’s waist before letting go and hopping up to sit on the counter.

He watched as Harry cooked. Harry could feel Louis’ eyes follow him all around the kitchen as he rambled on about random things: the prank he’d played on Niall in America, how weird he thought noodles were, how cute Harry’s little bum looked in his jeans. Harry listened and offered his opinion when necessary and it was moments like these that reminded him why he put up with everything. When they were alone, even if Louis wasn’t saying the words, Harry knew how much he loved him. He showed it in his actions without even trying. He didn’t crack as many jokes, talked about nonsense, smiled at Harry whenever their eyes met, and Harry just knew that he would never love anyone else as much as he loved Louis. And, without a doubt, he knew that Louis felt the same.

When Harry started to set everything out on the table, Louis hopped back off the counter and filled two glasses of water before sitting down. He made a noise of contentment after his first bite and gave Harry a thumbs up. Harry smiled in return.

“So,” Louis said conversationally after a bit, catching Harry’s attention. “I think you should come to the meeting tomorrow.”

Harry swallowed the bite he was chewing slowly. “Why?”

“You might be able to prevent some shit from happening if you’re there. I didn’t think about it until you mentioned it but yeah, this will probably backfire on you, and don’t you want to prevent anything major if you can? Like, what if they decide to make you date five girls at once or something, to cover up the rumors that are bound to start? Let’s do damage control before the damage is even done.”

Louis was right. Harry definitely needed to be there.

“What time is the meeting?” He asked, taking a gulp of water.

“9:00.” 

***** 

Harry and Louis were groggy when they got to the Modest! offices the next morning. They were directed to one of the smaller conference rooms and were greeted by Eleanor, her mum and lawyer, Louis’ lawyer, and three members of their managing team -the group they called The Douche Squad- once they’d entered. 

“Hello, boys!” Harry Magee greeted them. “Harry, we weren’t expecting you.”

“It was a last minute decision,” Louis shrugged and he and Harry both sat down at the table.

“Eleanor, are you alright with having Harry here?” her lawyer asked her.

Eleanor nodded and smiled in Harry and Louis’ direction. “I don’t mind.”

“Right,” McGhee sighed. “Well, let’s get started, shall we?”

The meeting was long. Eleanor’s lawyer pointed out all the necessary information to prove that her contract was up and The Douche Squad conversed in a corner with themselves for a few minutes, after Louis’ lawyer pointed out that his contract didn’t say anything about a replacement beard: that as long as he and Harry stayed under the radar, Louis shouldn’t have to do any more unnecessary stunts. 

“A boy band can always use more single members, yeah?” Louis joked and Harry wished he wouldn’t, because Louis wasn’t single. He was very taken.

“Okay, it seems that everything checks out,” John, one of the boys’ managers, admitted with a sigh after a few more minutes discussion. “We’ve talked about it and if it works for you, Eleanor, we won’t make an official announcement for a few days. The boys have interviews scheduled later this week and we will allow a question to be asked about their relationship statuses. Louis will then say that he’s single, and then after that, if we see a huge response from the fans, we will have you confirm the break up over twitter. One of us can do it for you.”

“I think that sounds good, yeah.” Eleanor nodded, looking over at Louis, who Harry could see was pleased with this plan as well.

“What are you planning on tweeting?” Eleanor’s lawyer asked, looking up from her laptop.

“We’ll keep it simple,” John assured. “She’s sure to get asked if she and Louis broke up. We’ll pick a random tweet for her to respond to saying that yes, they broke up, it was a mutual decision, and they are still friends.”

There were nods all around the table, as everyone agreed to this plan. Papers were signed and Louis reached out to grab Harry’s hand. Harry looked over to find him practically bouncing up and down in his seat. He couldn’t help but smile fondly at his boyfriend.

“Is that everything, then?” McGhee asked, moving to stand up.

“Not quite,” Louis sat up straighter. “What does this mean for me and Harry?”

McGhee at least had the decency to frown. “I’m afraid the two of you will still be closeted. Louis, you’ll be newly single and Harry, you’ll remain our ladies’ man.”

“Does that mean double the stunts now?” Harry asked bitterly, speaking for the first time.

“No,” John shook his head. “We’re talking with Lily Collins’ people to start some speculation next month, but you’ll only have to be seen together enough to get people talking. She’s got a film coming out soon. You’re free until then.”

Harry bit his lip and nodded. He wasn’t even sure he knew who Lily Collins was and made a mental note to look her up when they left. Everyone said their goodbyes and shook hands and that was that. The whole thing only lasted about an hour and a half and with most of the day left, Harry was happy to go back home and get some more sleep.

“Who the fuck is Lily Collins?” Louis asked when they were safely inside the car.

“I’m on it,” Harry pulled out his phone as Louis turned the key into the ignition.

By the time they were almost home, Harry had learned quite a few things about Lily Collins.

“She’s from the UK,” he told Louis as they pulled into the driveway. “But she works primarily in America. She’s an actress. Her dad is Phil Collins, which is neat. She’s actually quite fit.”

Louis looked over at Harry and frowned, narrowing his eyebrows as he parked the car.

“Look,” Harry said, shoving his phone in Louis’ face.

“I don’t like her eyebrows,” Louis said after a few moments deliberation.

Harry rolled his eyes, knowing that Louis thought she was fit too, if the most he could complain about were her eyebrows. 

“We’ll worry about that when the time comes,” Harry said as they got out of the car. “John said that won’t be a problem until next month. We have a month of being single together.”

“Single together,” Louis laughed at the oxymoron as he turned his key in the lock.

“Yeah,” Harry pushed Louis back against the door once they were inside and smiled. “Single together.”

 

Louis: 

Three days later found the band in a hotel in Paris, the day after they’d recorded an interview on the Jonathan Ross show, which would air that night. The unveiling of single Louis had been done easily enough. Ross had simply asked who in the group was single, and Louis had raised his hand along with Harry and Niall for the first time in three years. It was liberating. The difficult part would come after the show aired and fans lost their shit, which they all knew would happen.

“How excited are you, mate?” Zayn asked from where he was sprawled out on the bed. He was killing time in Louis and Harry’s room, keeping Louis company while Harry showered. 

“It’s hard to be excited when Harry’s got a stick up his ass,” Louis responded from the chair in the corner he was sitting in. 

“What’s Harry got a stick up his ass for?” Zayn asked, sitting up.

“He’s happy for me,” Louis said, cocking his head to the side. “I know he’s happy for me, but I also think he’s jealous.”

“Well, he’s kind of got a right to be, you know?” Zayn pointed out. “The Douche Squad still uses him as their fucking puppet.”

Louis smiled sadly. “Yeah, I know.”

They both stopped talking when they heard the water in the bathroom shut off and Zayn grabbed the remote and turned on the telly. They were flipping through the channels, trying to find something in English, when Harry walked out of the bathroom, stark naked.

“For fuck’s sake,” Zayn muttered, putting his face in his hands.

Louis and Harry both guffawed as Harry pulled a pair of underwear out of his bag and over his legs. He moved to stand right in front of Zayn and shook his ass in his face.

“Get away from me,” Zayn growled and Louis laughed again. Harry walked over to sit in his lap.

“Sorry, Zayn,” he said as Louis’ arms came around him. “Didn’t know you were in here.”

“Clearly.” Zayn stood up. “I’m gonna go call my mum, so you two can... whatever.”

They watched him in amusement as he left the room, the door slamming behind him.

Louis laughed. “I think you broke him, Hazza.”

Harry turned around so that he was straddling Louis in the chair. “It’s not like he hasn’t seen it before.”

“Mmm,” Louis acknowledged before leaning up to kiss Harry slowly, lazily. His hands were tangled in Harry’s hair and Harry’s hands were bunched in his t-shirt when a knock sounded at their door moments later.

“Ignore it,” Harry murmured, but the knocker was persistent.

Louis sighed and Harry moved off of him to lay on the bed. Louis, being the dressed one, went to the door and opened it to Niall, who pushed past him with a footie ball in his hand.

“You up to play a little bit?” Niall asked as he made his into the room, trying to balance the ball on one finger.

He looked up when Louis didn’t answer, took in his disheveled appearance and then looked at Harry, who was still lying on the bed in only his underwear. He laughed when he realized what he’d interrupted, but remained in the room, now juggling the ball on his knees. That was the difference between Zayn and Niall. Zayn usually left Harry and Louis alone, because he didn’t want to intrude and he liked giving them their ‘alone time’. Niall knew he was intruding, but didn’t give a fuck and did it anyway. Liam on the other hand, wouldn’t have been caught dead in Harry and Louis’ room in the first place, always too worried to walk in on something and end up scarred for life.

“Well?” Niall prompted.

Louis looked over at Harry, silently asking for permission to go play footie. He hadn’t had the chance in a while.

Harry shrugged and nodded, which meant it was fine with him.

“Alright,” Louis grabbed a jacket out of his suitcase. “Let’s go.”

 

Fan POV  
Allison and Clare: 

Clare arrived at Allison’s house late on Saturday night, after her shift at work ended, to watch the new Jonathan Ross, which they’d scheduled to record the moment they found out One Direction would be on.

“I’ve been so impatient,” Allison said as she opened the door. “Do you realize how hard it is to stay away from tumblr and twitter?”

Clare laughed as she followed Allison up the stairs to her room. “You didn’t have to stay off the internet for me.”

Allison shrugged. “It’s more fun to watch with you when we don’t know what’s going to happen.”

She had the interview, which had premiered a few hours before, queued up on her telly. Everything was ready, all she had to do was press play, which she did as soon as they were settled on her bed. 

The boys walked out, smiling and waving, and each of them shook Ross’ hand before sitting down on a long couch.

“Harry and Louis are sitting next to each other,” Clare pointed out. “When’s the last time we saw that?”

They watched fondly as the boys talked about their new album and what they planned on doing in their short time off before tour. Jokes were made both by Jonathan Ross and by the boys, which made Clare and Allison laugh, and before they knew it the interview was coming to a close.

“Now, one last question!” Jonathan started, pointing at the group. “For the ladies, I have to ask-”

“Dear, Lord.” Clare rolled her eyes. 

“Who here is single?” 

Allison and Clare watched as Harry, Niall, and surprisingly, Louis, all raised their hands.

“WHAT?!” Allison shouted, looking at Clare with wide eyes.

“LOOK AT LOUIS!” Clare screamed.

Allison snapped her head back to watch as Louis smirked on screen and ducked his head to look at Harry smugly. Niall’s smile was blinding as he looked from Harry to Louis and back again, and Zayn bumped into Harry’s shoulder with his own, causing Harry to bite his lip in an effort to keep a smile off his face.

“OH, MY GOD,” Allison and Clare squealed at the same time and Allison paused the program to pull her laptop out, immediately going to check tumblr. Clare did the same with her phone, checking twitter.

“It’s already giffed,” Allison informed Clare. “The fandom is going insane.”

“Eleanor tweeted!” Clare breathed. “Look!”

She thrust her phone in Allison’s face and Allison pulled back a bit to read the tweets.

**Eleanor Calder @EleanorJCalder  
@luv4liam “did you and louis really break up? what happend?!” Yes, but no worries. It was a mutual thing and we are still good friends!**

Her reply was retweeted by Louis.

“Oh, my God,” Allison squealed. “This is like, a thing.” 

“What does this mean?” Clare wondered out loud.

“Probably not what we think it means.” Allison replied.

Clare sighed, knowing her friend was right. Harry and Louis probably wouldn’t be coming out any time soon, but at least this Elounor break up was a step in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so just a disclaimer: i have no harsh feelings towards lily collins. i actually really like lily collins. i just couldn't force myself to write hendall without vomiting so i texted my betas and said "who is a young actress i can use for harry's next beard in the fic" and one of them replied with "lily collins" and that was that.
> 
> come say hi to me on [tumblr](http://www.quixoticvisions.tumblr.com) if you want :)


	6. Chapter 6

Louis:

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Louis shouted. He and Harry were both sitting in the living room and Harry had just ended a phone call with The Douche Squad. It had been about a month and a half since Louis and Eleanor announced their break-up. The new album was still doing really well, and they were on break from promotion until tour started in March.

“No, Louis, I’m not kidding,” Harry sighed from his place on the couch. He was sitting with his back to the armrest, legs stretched out over the cushions, his feet in Louis’ lap at the other end. It was midafternoon and neither had dressed for the day, Harry in just his briefs and Louis in his briefs and a t-shirt. They preferred to live in their underwear on days when it was just the two of them. .

“That is such bullshit!” Louis was still shouting, absolutely furious. “They’re making you spend your birthday with her?!”

“It’s just dinner, Lou,” Harry murmured, and Louis could tell he was downplaying how upset he was for his benefit. Harry had told Louis that he liked Lily, thought she was nice and funny, but once again, the press had been eating the new relationship up, going on and on about what a womanizer he was. 

Louis rolled his eyes.“It’s complete fucking bollocks, is what it is, Harry,” He’d been looking forward to spending Harry’s birthday with him, but he supposed management couldn’t have that; Louis had been a free man on his birthday, so of course Harry couldn’t be the same.

“Well,” Harry said, sitting up straighter, “I guess now you know what it feels like.”

He pulled his legs away from Louis and crossed them underneath himself.

“Know what what feels like?” Louis squinted his eyes at Harry, thrown off by his suddenly harsh tone.

“Know what it feels like to have your boyfriend going off to spend every waking moment, every special event with his fake girlfriend,” Harry clarified. He looked Louis dead in the eye, his expression cold. 

“I already knew what it felt like, Haz,” Louis snapped, standing up quickly. He shook his head in frustration and retreated to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. 

He collapsed face first onto the bed, burying his face into his pillow. He was probably overreacting, but it seemed like the two of them did a lot of overreacting these days. Louis thought the break up with Eleanor would make things easier, but it had actually just made them harder. The Douche Squad was so worried about rumors starting about HarryandLouis that the two of them weren’t allowed to do a single interview together during press.  


Meanwhile, the new rumored relationship with Lily Collins was getting a shit ton of attention. Lily was one of the first PR stunts Harry actually genuinely liked as a person, so he seemed happier about the relationship, and this caused the media to think he was crazy about her; He couldn’t go anywhere without being asked about her; it was a never ending cycle. Louis was sick of it, Harry was sick of it, and they were constantly taking their anger out on each other. And when they weren’t arguing, it seemed like Harry was just becoming more and more subdued. Louis was starting to worry about it. His Harry didn’t mope about and close himself off. His Harry showed affection and laughed at stupid jokes and danced around the house in his underwear for no reason. Louis missed him; now days he only saw glimpses of him for short amounts of time and not very often.

Louis was still lying face down on the bed, trying to calm himself down, when he heard the bedroom door open. Seconds later, he felt the bed dip and then Harry was lying down next to him, on his side. He didn’t say anything, remained completely still, and Louis knew he was letting him take his time. He wanted to talk it out, but only when Louis wanted to and he was content to just sit there with Louis in the meantime. 

He didn’t know how long it had been, probably close to ten minutes, before he turned onto his side too, meeting Harry’s eyes. He smiled softly and Harry did the same as Louis reached up to play with a curl.

“I’m sorry,” Louis said seriously.

Harry shook his head slightly. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

Louis shrugged. “I overreacted just a tad.”

Harry reached up to grab the hand Louis was running through his hair and link their fingers. He brought Louis’ hand to his chest and covered it with both of his own. 

“I guess,” Harry replied, then sighed “We’ve been a right mess lately, haven’t we?”

Louis nodded, sadly. “A bit.”

They lay there in silence for several minutes, and Louis just stared at their clasped hands. When he looked up he was shocked to see tears in Harry’s eyes and Harry struggling to keep them subdued. 

“Love,” Louis said, startled. “What’s wrong?”

Harry sniffled. “I just want it all to be over. I’m tired of playing these stupid games. I just- I want to be able to be free, you know? I want to walk down the street holding your hand, and I want to put my arm around you in interviews, because that’s the natural thing to do. I want to flirt openly with you on stage and and watch you blush, and I want the other boys to be able tease us in public, because we can’t keep our hands or eyes off of each other. The whole thing, like ‘this is us’, it’s such bullshit. I’m sick of it. I just want us to really be able to be us.” 

“I know baby, I know,” Louis whispered. He squeezed Harry’s hands sympathetically. Harry didn’t get down like this very often, but when he did he was there for days. It broke Louis’ heart every time, because he was almost always the one to trigger it. Louis’ fit over the birthday had done definitely it this time, because it upset Harry when Louis was upset.

Harry’s phone started ringing, but he wasn’t in any state to answer it, now full on sobbing, so Louis reached over into his back pocket to retrieve it.

“It’s Nialler,” he told Harry. “Want me to answer it?”

Harry shrugged and sniffled. “It’s the second time he’s called, so answer and get rid of him, yeah?”

“Sure thing, love,” Louis said as he pressed the green button on Harry’s phone.

“Hello?”

“Tommo?” Niall asked, instantly recognizing his voice.

“Hey, Niall,” Louis reached over to brush his thumb over Harry’s wet cheek, wiping away his tears. “You all right?”

“Yeah, I’m good. What about you? Are you with Harry?”

Louis sighed. “Now’s not a good time, Ni. Is it something important? Can he give you a call back later?”  
Normally Niall would have made a cheeky remark about the two of them not being able to stop shagging for ten minutes, but he must have sensed something was wrong in Louis’ tone.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, concern lacing his voice.

“It’s just some PR shit getting to him,” Louis replied, watching as Harry closed his eyes. He was so emotionally exhausted that he was crying himself to sleep.

“That’s rough, dude,” Niall said sympathetically. “I’m sorry. Tell him I said everyone can go fuck themselves, okay?”

Louis huffed a small laugh. “I’ll tell him, Niall. Talk to you later?”

“Of course, man,” Niall said. “Talk to you later.”

Louis hung up and placed Harry’s phone on his bedside table before gathering him in his arms, Harry instantly clutching at him. Louis ran his fingers gently through his hair and murmured nonsensical things into his ear until he felt Harry’s breathing even out and his grip on Louis’ sleeve go slack. He sat with him for a few more minutes, until he was sure Harry was really asleep, before gently laying him down and quietly leaving the room, closing the door softly behind him.

When he got to the living room he collapsed onto the couch and pulled out his phone to reply to a text Stan had sent before the call from PR. 

**sorry about the delayed response ! was dealing with some douche squad shit and haz is real upset. when did this fucking bcome my life ? but to answer your question i’ll be coming back to donny next week. x**

Stan texted back seconds later, which made Louis wonder if he’d been waiting for a response. He felt bad for making him wait.

**shit mate i’m sorry. wanna talk about it?**

Louis sighed.

**not really. maybe next week.**

Louis turned on the telly and flipped through the channels as he waited for a response, but there was nothing on worth watching.

**okay if youre sure...**

Louis continued to flip through the channels, with false hope that he would find something the second run through, before turning the telly back off and tossing the remote onto the coffee table. He was bored, wanted to go do something, but he didn’t want to leave Harry at the house by himself. He would need Louis when he woke up, didn’t need to be left alone to wallow and Louis needed to make sure Harry was going to be okay just as much. It had been ages since Harry had cried himself to sleep, and Louis felt like his heart was being torn to shreds when it happened. He wanted to scream and hurt the people who hurt Harry, but he knew that wouldn’t get him anywhere, and he was exhausted, so emotionally exhausted.

After much deliberation he decided he’d join Harry and take a nap, but only after he made a brief phone call to his mum. He really just needed to hear her voice and reassurance. He ate a bowl of cereal while they talked, which caused her to ask what he was eating and if Harry was taking good care of him.

“I’m kind of doing the taking care of at the moment,” He told her. “With all the new stunts he’s being sent on and what not.”

Jay sighed. “I’m so glad you’re done with that nonsense for the time being.”

Louis swallowed a bite. “I’m not done, really. Harry’s not done, so I’m not done.”

“I know, darling,” Jay said soothingly. “I know.”

“It’s not fair, mum,” Louis said, and his voice sounded incredibly whiny, even to his own ears. “It’s not fucking fair.”

“Hang in there, love,” Jay continued in a calming voice. “Think of all the good things; don’t focus on the bad, alright? You can do it. I know you can.”

Louis let out a shaky breath. “Thanks, mum.”

“You want me to put the girls on?” Jay asked.

Louis smiled, “Sure.”

After brief hellos and I love yous to the girls, and a goodbye to Jay, Louis made his way back to the bedroom. Harry was now snoring softly, his face still a little blotchy from crying. Louis grabbed a blanket from their wardrobe before laying down next to Harry, who had fallen asleep on top of the covers. He threw the blanket on over the both of them and watched Harry’s sleeping face and steady breathing with an aching feeling in his chest, until sleep overtook him as well. 

 

Harry:

Harry woke up feeling like he’d been run over by a train. Louis was sleeping next to him, and he looked anything but peaceful. His face was scrunched up like he was in the middle of a bad dream, so Harry reached over to rub his back until he woke up. He woke with a start but relaxed and smiled when he saw Harry.

“Are you feeling better, love?” Louis asked with hopeful eyes.

“Not particularly,” Harry told him, turning over to lay on his back and look up at the ceiling.

“We slept for a couple of hours,” Louis said, as he sat up and checked the time. “It’s almost dinner time. Do you want me to order some take away?”

Harry watched the ceiling fan spin around in circles, counting six spins before answering. “I’m not really hungry.”

“Well, is there anything you want to do?” Louis asked, scooting closer to Harry.

Harry turned his head to look at him. “Like what?”

“I bet I can think of something,” Louis grinned mischievously. 

Harry bit his lip and frowned slightly. He didn’t know how good sex would be right now. He wasn’t in a particularly giving mood.

Louis shook his head as if he had read Harry’s thoughts and bent down to give him a peck on the lips. “Let me take care of you, yeah? But only if you want to. We can always watch telly or something.”

In response Harry grabbed Louis by the neck and pulled him down to give him another kiss, realizing that Louis wanted to do this, needed to take care of Harry. Louis smiled against his mouth before pulling back to grab the lube from the bedside table drawer. He tossed it onto the pillow next to Harry’s head and bent down to kiss him again, sighing into Harry’s mouth. Undressing was easy, as the two of them hadn’t bothered to get dressed that morning. Louis pulled off Harry’s briefs as they kissed and threw them on the ground, before kissing down his chest. Harry pulled himself up onto his elbows and watched as Louis made his way down, moaning when Louis finally took his cock into his mouth.

Louis always knew how to drive Harry crazy; it felt like no time at all before Harry was gasping and grabbing at the sheets. Louis pulled off when he could feel Harry getting close and moved back up his body, kissing each tattoo along the way.

“You really are beautiful, you know,” He said looking up at Harry through his eyelashes.

“Mmm,” Harry hummed, pulling Louis up to kiss him. “So are you.”

Louis pulled off his own briefs as they kissed, throwing them onto the floor. He grabbed the lube, and squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers before reaching behind to finger himself. Harry’s eyes widened in shock. They changed things up, but for the most part Louis topped. This was mostly because he was the bossiest bottom on the planet anyway, and the majority of the time, Harry didn’t have the patience. So the fact that Louis was taking the initiative to bottom was surprising.

Louis chuckled at Harry’s surprised expression. “I’m taking care of you, remember?”

“Do you want me to-” Harry gestured to where Louis was fingering himself.

Louis shook his head and bent down to latch on to Harry’s neck. Harry lost track of what Louis was doing, couldn’t concentrate on more than the giant love bite that was being sucked into his neck, so he was surprised when Louis’ hand was suddenly wrapped around his dick, coating it with lube. He watched as Louis sunk down onto him, moaning when he bottomed out. Louis stayed in place, adjusting because it had been a while, and leaned down to kiss Harry before he started to move.

“I love you,” he whispered, and with that he braced himself with his hands on Harry’s chest, and rose up.

“Me too,” Harry’s response turned into a groan as Louis sunk back down. 

He worked up a steady but slow rhythm and it didn’t take long for Harry to turn into a writhing, moaning mess. He couldn’t do much but lay there as Louis rode him almost painstakingly slowly. He tried to reach for Louis’ cock to jack him off, but Louis slapped his hand away. 

“You first,” he panted when Harry looked up at him, confused,.

He started to move faster, rotating his hips and clenching, and Harry was done for. He moaned at the feeling of his impending orgasm and when he came it was with a shouted curse and an arched back. Louis continued to ride him until Harry started to squirm in discomfort at the oversensitivity. He pulled off and wrapped a hand around himself but Harry pushed him down onto the bed and pinned his hands to the bed on either side of his hips.

“My turn to take care of you,” He murmured before bending down and taking Louis’ cock all the way into his mouth in one smooth movement. 

“Fuck!” Louis shouted. He bucked his hips up into Harry’s mouth and Harry let him. Louis came not long after and he pulled Harry up to kiss him, licking away the come that Harry hadn’t been able to swallow. Harry pulled back when he needed to breathe and collapsed onto his back. Louis sat up and Harry’s eyes followed him as he grabbed a random shirt off of the floor and cleaned them up. 

“Are you hungry yet?” Louis asked as he lay back down with his head on Harry’s chest. “I’m thinking Indian.”

“Sure, Lou,” Harry wrapped an arm around Louis’ shoulders and kissed his hair. “We can order Indian.”

They lay there in silence for a bit, just enough time for Harry to start wallowing again. He was upset that he was being forced to take Lily dinner with his family for his birthday. He was upset that it upset Louis, and he was upset that he was so obviously outwardly upset that Louis had felt the need to take care of him. Harry could handle a sad Louis, unless he was the reason for his sadness. He never wanted to be the reason for Louis’ sadness. 

“Shower, then food. Sound good?” Louis asked, sitting up. Harry nodded and sat up as well. 

They showered slowly, taking their time massaging each other’s scalps and running their hands over their bodies. The entire time Harry held back tears, because he wanted Louis all the time, not just in private. Lately, even the private moments depressed him, because they were just reminders of what they weren’t able to have in public. 

After they ate and Harry cleaned up the kitchen, they got into bed quietly and Harry pulled the comforter up to his chin. Louis got in on his side of the bed and Harry waited for him to cuddle up next to him, surprised when it didn’t happen. He turned around and moved into Louis’ space, wrapping an arm around his waist and tucking his knees into Louis’, slotting their bodies together like puzzle pieces.

“Thanks for taking care of me,” he mumbled into Louis’ neck, still feeling pretty shit, but also feeling grateful that Louis had taken the time to show his love over and over again all day, while Harry did little to reciprocate it. Louis rested his hand over the one Harry had wrapped around his waist.

“Any time, love,” he sighed sadly, and Harry mentally kicked himself because he was the reason Louis sounded like that. “Any time.”


	7. Chapter 7

Harry:

Harry woke up the weekend before tour started in a hotel in Los Angeles, alone. It was March, and the rest of the band would be flying out for tour in two days, but Harry had one last stunt to do with Lily before they were allowed to “break up”. They hadn’t ever confirmed their relationship, always said they were just friends in front of the press, but despite this the media was still buzzing about how Lily (having been around for three months) would be one of Harry’s longest relationships to date. He kept getting asked if he was ready to finally settle down with her and if she had changed his previous womanizer ways. It made him nauseous and he knew it was starting to infuriate Louis as well. 

It was because of all of the drama with the media that Harry was extremely ready for tour this time around; he hoped things would be simpler on tour. He was ready for it to be just him and the boys again. He liked being surrounded with the people who really understood him and who he didn’t have to hide himself from.  
Harry was still lying in bed when his phone buzzed, signaling he had a text message. He opened it when he saw that it was from Lily.

**Heading your way now! Be there in 20 :)**

Harry sat up and texted her back.

**See you then.**

They were going on a shopping trip for their last stunt, which Harry actually wasn’t dreading. He was already planning on picking out some new Vans for Louis.  
Harry got up, brushed his teeth, pulled his hair back into a stubby ponytail, and dressed himself in black jeans, a blue t-shirt, and his boots. He was eating a banana for breakfast when Lily texted him again, telling him she was downstairs. He threw the peel into the wastebin and headed down to meet her. 

“Hey!” She greeted him with a hug and he kissed her on the cheek. 

“I’m told you’re driving,” she said. “So I had the valet park my car.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded. They waited in the building while the valet retrieved his car, and Harry warily eyed the goings on outside. There were already several paparazzi camped outside of the hotel and they were photographed as they walked out and got into the car. Harry knew there would be hundreds of articles written about it the next day: ‘Rumored Girlfriend Lily Collins Meets Harry Styles At His Hotel For A Leisurely Day Of Shopping’.

“I’m not gonna lie,” Lily said as she buckled her seatbelt. “I’m ready for all of this to be over. You have to deal with the paps on a completely different scale. I kind of want my life back.”

Harry chuckled as he drove off. She had no idea.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” she shook her head at herself. “I’m being really insensitive.”

Harry shrugged. “No worries.”

They rode in silence for a bit and Harry knew that if he waited long enough, Lily would break the silence.

“So,” she said and Harry smiled to himself. “You shopping for anything in particular? Or just gonna look around?”

Harry yawned as he stopped at a red light. “I’m gonna get some shoes for Louis,” He told her. “Other than that I’m not really looking for anything specific.”

“Oh, cool!” Lily smiled. “I bet he’ll like that!”

Lily was different from the others, in that she hadn’t asked Harry about Louis when the whole thing started, which was why he felt more comfortable talking to her about it. She understood that it wasn’t her business and, didn’t pry, and for some reason that made Harry trust her. Of course, Louis hated that they talked about him, but Harry couldn’t help it. Sometimes it was easier to be away from Louis if he could at least talk about Louis. And Lily always listened with nonjudgmental ears and a sympathetic smile. Truthfully, Harry kind of wanted to stay friends with her after everything blew over.

They shopped until well into the afternoon, both getting several items, including the Vans for Louis. They were papped as they walked together on the streets and took several pictures with fans, both together and separately. The Douche Squad would be extremely pleased. 

When they got back to the hotel, Harry waited down in the lobby with Lily for the valet to bring her car. Most of the paparazzi were gone, all having gotten their pictures when Harry and Lily had left that morning. 

“So,” Lily said, turning to Harry when she saw her car appear outside. “I guess this is it, then?”

“I guess so!” Harry said, smiling brightly. 

He held his arms open for a hug, which Lily accepted.

“Stay in touch, yeah?” He said as they both pulled away.

“Definitely,” She nodded and smiled. “I hope everything works out with Louis and your management and all that.”

Harry sighed. “Me too.”

He watched her exit the building before turning to go back up to his room. He checked the time as he sat down on the bed, seeing if it was too late to call Louis. It was only about 1:00 in the morning in England so Harry texted him to see if he was awake. 

**I’m freeeee! You awake? x**

His response came seconds later, which meant Louis had been waiting for Harry to text him and tell him everything was finally over with.

 **Yay ! niall’s here. get on skype we’ll call you in a few min. x**

Harry opened up his laptop and connected to Skype. Louis wasn’t on yet so he went to the bathroom and changed out of his jeans into a pair of sweatpants. He was grabbing a bottle of water out of the mini-fridge when his laptop started ringing. He skipped over and plopped down onto the bed, answering the call. 

Louis and Niall’s faces filled his screen, and he could tell they were sitting in the living room at Harry and Louis’ house. Niall had a bag of chips in his hand and Louis was shirtless.

“Hi!” Niall moved closer to the laptop, blocking Louis from the camera.

“Heyyyy,” Harry greeted. “How are you, you all right?”

“I am great!” Niall said, still taking up the entire screen. “What about you, man?”

“Niall,” Louis’ steady voice came from off camera. “Move your fat head out of the way, you bastard.”

Niall pulled back easily and Harry could see Louis again.

“Hi, babe,” Louis smiled at Harry softly. “You all right?”

“I’m good,” Harry smiled back. He’d missed his boy’s face.

“Me too,” Niall said through a mouthful of crips. “Absolutely fantastic, if anyone was wondering.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “You already said that, idiot. When Harry asked you how you were.”

“Well, I was just saying.” Niall huffed.

Harry chuckled. “When did you get to London, Ni? This morning?”

“This morning,” Niall confirmed, nodding. “Can’t wait to see you, man!” 

The conversation quickly turned to a discussion of the tour and how excited they all were. They talked for an hour or so, until Harry could see both Louis and Niall blinking tiredly, which was when he told them to go to sleep and they signed off. 

*****

Louis: 

A week later found the boys backstage, getting ready for the first show of the Where We Are tour. The first few show of tour were always a bit nerve-wracking; they would be performing most of the songs for the first time, and with the album being so personal this time around, Louis was feeling extremely anxious, especially because he had written so many of the songs. Those songs were his babies, and he wanted the performance to go over well with the fans.

“We’ve got three minutes!” Brad, their stage manager told them. “Positions, everyone!”

Paul, was behind him clapping his hands and motioning for them to hurry up. The boys turned to face each other, all sporting nervous expressions. Zayn was rubbing his hands together and Niall was bouncing up and down on his toes.

“Okay, lads,” Louis smiled at them. “We’ve got this.”

“Where We Are on three?” Liam asked.

Everyone nodded and put their hands in the middle of the circle they’d formed.

“1- 2- WHERE WE ARE!” they shouted, throwing their hands in the air.

“Two minutes!” Brad warned, walking by them again.

“Let’s go!” Paul grumbled, hands on his hips.

“Let your lights shine, boys!” Harry squealed as they dispersed, each boy grabbing a mic and going to the platform that would shoot him out onto the stage.

“Okay, everyone ready?” Brad shouted. 

The boys all nodded and then a count down could be heard from the crowd.

“10- 9- 8-”

Louis swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. The sound of the crowd was almost deafening and Louis looked to his left at Harry, who grinned and flashed him a thumbs up. Louis returned the gesture and then looked forward, matching his breaths to the crowd’s countdown.

“4- 3- 2- 1!”

The boys shot up onto the stage with big smiles and waves, immediately going into Kiss You. The first half of the show went smoothly. They sang a mixture of mostly new songs with a few of the old, and the fans seemed to be having a good time. Louis even made it through Strong, which was the song he was most worried about, trying to keep his glances to Harry at a minimum.

However, everything went downhill when they started to sing Something Great, two songs before intermission. Louis had been surprised Something Great even made it to the set list, but apparently it was a fan favorite, so it was kind of obligatory that it was on the list. 

Liam did great with the first verse, and Louis distracted himself by talking to Zayn. He looked over at Harry when he started singing the chorus though, to find Harry singing right to him. Louis watched him until Harry was finished singing his part in the second verse. Harry looked at Louis with such tenderness when he sang, “I’ll say we’re better off together here tonight”, that Louis couldn’t take it, and he felt tears forming in his eyes. He knew some fan was bound to catch him crying on video so he turned to face the back of the stage, trying to make it look like he was searching for a bottle of water. He took a few swigs, took a deep breath and turned back around to see Liam looking at him questioningly. Louis nodded to tell him he was okay, but Liam walked over to him anyway.

“I can sing the last bit if you want me to,” he leaned in close to his ear to tell him.

Louis shook his head. “No, I’ve got to do it.”

“You sure?” Liam asked, his eyes wide.

Louis nodded. “For Harry.” 

Liam smiled and squeezed Louis’ arm before turning back to the crowd just in time for the end of the chorus Harry and Zayn were singing together. Louis took a deep breath and brought his mic up to his lips. He looked right at Harry as he sang, his voice cracking on the repeat of “so much it’s hurting”. Harry smiled sadly and the crowd, which had gone almost completely silent during Louis’ part, erupted into cheers. 

After Something Great, the boys sang Little Black Dress, and then exited the stage for costume change and a ten minute intermission. They were in a rush, but Harry pulled Louis’ face to his and kissed him hard.

“I love you,” he said, his eyes wide and serious.

“I love you, too.” Louis told him.

“And I love you both,” Paul rolled his eyes. “But let’s hurry up you love birds, please!” 

Harry turned and ran to the dressing room and Louis was about to run off after him, but he glanced over at Niall, who had been watching on, his face scrunched up in thought.

“You all right?” Louis asked him, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah,” Niall nodded, but the look he had on his face gave Louis pause.

“You sure?”

Niall smiled. “I’m fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are appreciated!
> 
> :)


	8. Chapter 8

Niall:

About a month later, after Louis had cried in concert three more times and Harry twice, Niall was fed up. He was sick and tired of watching his friends hurting, and he thought it was about time he and the other boys tried to do something about it. Niall had been struggling to find a time when he could talk to Liam and Zayn without Harry and Louis present. It wasn’t until Harry and Louis both went to the quiet bus after their show one night, while the other three stayed on bus one, that he got his chance.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you guys about something,” Niall told Liam and Zayn once they were settled on the couches of the bus.

“What’s up, mate?” Liam asked, concern lacing his voice. Zayn looked at him with questioning eyes.

“I’m worried about Haz and Lou,” Niall told them, biting his lip.

Liam sighed and Zayn nodded sadly. 

“Me too, Ni,” Liam said, reaching over to squeeze his arm. “I’m always worried about them.”

“Well, me too,” Niall acknowledged. “But it seems like things have been worse lately. And not just because of the Lily Collins shit, because that’s been over for a month now, and they’re both still really down.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that too,” Zayn told him. “Especially with all the crying on stage lately. I’m surprised The Douche Squad isn’t having a fucking field day.”

Niall shook his head. “I saw John pull them to the side during intermission the other day and tell them to watch themselves, or he’d cut Strong, Something Great, and Right Now from the set list.” 

Zayn rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Strong is one of the most popular songs on the album. He’s an idiot.”

“Anyway,” Niall continued, looking at Zayn and Liam with serious eyes. “I think we should do something.”

Liam narrowed his eyes. “Like what?”

Niall took a deep breath. “Well, we’ve got eight months left with these fuckers, right? And I know we always thought we’d be able to stick it out, but Louis and Harry are destroying themselves. We all know what management wants more than anything is money. If Harry and Louis come out, it’s gonna be a big deal for a few months.”

“So, what you are saying,” Zayn interrupted to clarify. “Is that we should try to convince management that bringing Harry and Louis out of the closet would earn them more money for these last few months before the contract is up?”

“Yes,” Niall grinned. “That is exactly what I’m saying.”

Zayn and Liam were silent for a moment, looking at each other and then at Niall.

“Mate,” Liam smiled widely, holding his hand up for a high five.“That’s fucking brilliant.”

 

Harry:

A little over a month after the secret conversation between Niall, Liam, and Zayn -in between the tour in America and the tour in Europe- the band had about a week off to rest in London. Rest was a relative term though, as they had meetings scheduled with The Douche Squad the first day they were back, and a show three days after that.

“I wonder what this is about.” Louis told Harry as they walked into the Modest! offices. “Like, we cleaned up our act on stage after that talk with John. We haven’t been that bad.”

“I don’t know if this is about us,” Harry said, reaching for Louis’ hand once they were in the building and couldn’t be seen from the outside. “Niall, Liam, and Zayn have to be here too.”

“I hate not knowing,” Louis said as they were directed to the room they would be meeting in. Harry squeezed his hand reassuringly.

When they walked into the room it was to find that Niall, Liam, and Zayn were already there, as well as The Douche Squad, two representatives from their PR team, Simon (which was rare), and both of their lawyers.

“What is going on?” Harry asked, the sight of Simon and PR throwing him off. The fact that only Harry and Louis’ lawyers were present, and not the other boys’, was surprising as well. However, Niall smiled at him encouragingly and flashed him a thumbs up, so he supposed whatever was going on couldn’t be that bad.

Louis led Harry over to two vacant seats and they sat down across from the other boys, waiting nervously. 

“So boys,” Magee started once they were settled. “We’ve brought you here today to talk about your relationship.”

“Jesus,” Harry rolled his eyes and slumped down into his seat.

“I actually think you’ll pleased to hear this, Harry.” Simon said lightly, clasping his hands together in front of him.

Harry and Louis looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

“We’ve been talking to your bandmates,” Magee started to talk again, gesturing to Zayn, Niall, and Liam, “And they’ve convinced us to let you bring your relationship out to the public, if you still want to that is.”

The room fell completely silent as everyone waited for that to sink in. Louis squeezed Harry’s hand so hard that Harry thought it might fall off and he focused on his breathing, sure that he must have heard wrong. However, one look across the table to the other boys, whose smiles were almost comically big, made him think that he might have actually heard right.

“What?” Louis breathed at his side, clearly as shocked as he was.

“You get to come out!” Niall said excitedly, bouncing up and down in his seat.

Harry looked to his side at Louis, who met his eyes with a confused look.

“Is this a joke?” Louis asked, looking back to the rest of the room.

“Because that’s really cruel if you’re joking,” Harry added, looking at everyone accusingly.

“For fuck’s sake,” Zayn rolled his eyes. “We’re not taking the piss. Do you honestly think we would do that?”

“They’re just confused, Zayn,” Liam scolded before turning to the couple. “Honestly, this isn’t a joke. The three of us were sick and tired of watching you two suffer, and we’ve been talking to management about this for weeks.”

“We wanted it to be a surprise,” Niall said weakly, some of the excitement gone from his eyes now that he could see how stunned Harry and Louis were. He had clearly expected a celebration right away, with happy tears and hugs all around.

“Can we get a minute alone?” Louis asked, standing up.

Several heads nodded and Louis pulled Harry out into the hallway. Harry felt like he was going to be sick and one look into Louis’ eyes told him that Louis felt the same. Louis backed Harry into the nearest wall and ran his hand up and down his sides, trying to comfort them both.

“What are you thinking?” He asked. “What do you want to do?”

Harry shook his head, trying to clear the thousand thoughts that were running through his mind. He’d never expected this moment to play out like this. He had always pictured himself ecstatic, but now that it was a reality he was more scared than anything.

“I want to do it,” He whispered. “But I’m scared.”

Louis nodded in understanding. “This is going to change everything.”

Harry sighed and leaned his head back to rest against the wall. 

“We’ll regret it if we don’t take them up on this,” Louis murmured, reaching up to move some of Harry’s hair off of his forehead.

Harry looked down at him and nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Louis smiled softly and Harry bent down to kiss him before pushing off of the wall. Louis took his hand again as they walked back into the room, everyone watching them with anxious eyes.

“Okay,” Louis said as they sat back down and he crossed his arms. “What’s the plan?”

They were there for three hours, discussing and arguing over various ways in which the coming out should happen. Harry and Louis wanted to make sure they could come out their way, without having any of their words or actions misinterpreted. Management wanted a magazine spread. It was Zayn who suggested a YouTube video, like Tom Daley had done. In the end, they all agreed on a twitcam that they would later upload to YouTube, and a magazine spread and interviews later on.

It was two days later that Harry nervously typed out the tweet that would be the start of everything:

**Harry Styles @Harry_Styles  
Twitcam anyone? I’ll be on live in an hour. x**

 

Allison and Clare:

Allison and Clare got situated on the bed with Allison’s laptop all queued up in front of them. Clare had rushed over as soon as Harry tweeted that he’d be doing a twitcam and they’d been waiting for about 45 minutes now. The two girls scrolled through tumblr until they could hear movement coming through the twitcam tab. Allison switched over to the tab quickly and they sat back and smiled at Harry, who was sitting on a sleek, black leather couch wearing his trademark outfit of a flannel shirt with a bandana in his hair.

“Hello everyone!” He said with a silly smile on his face.

“Gah, I just love him so much,” Clare said with a sigh.

“I know,” Allison replied, nodding. “Remember that time we met him and he was super nice and adorable and it was the best moment of our lives?”

“I don’t know if I recall that,” Clare joked, stroking her chin.

“I hope you all are doing well,” Harry said from the computer. “I haven’t done one of these in a while. I think I might be a bit rusty, but there is a reason I wanted to do this.”

“What if he comes out?” Allison gushed excitedly.

Clare rolled her eyes. “Yeah, fat chance. We can only hope.”

“I think I’m gonna need some help with this,” Harry said, looking over the camera at something in the background, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Well, introduce me properly, Curly,” Louis’ voice came from somewhere off camera.

“Oh, my God!” Clare squealed. “What is happening?!”

“Right,” Harry said slowly. “Give it up for my roommate, Mr. Louis Tomlinson everybody!”

He clapped goofily and Louis ran onto the screen and plopped down next to Harry, bumping into him with his elbows and knees.

“DID HE JUST SAY ROOMMATE?!” Allison screeched. “OH, MY GOD!!!”

“So, we just wanted to do this twitcam to clear up a few things,” Harry said and he seemed nervous.

“Right you are, Harry,” Louis said, nodding enthusiastically. “Right you are.”

“Yeah,” Harry said, swallowing visibly. “You can start, Lou.”

“I will Harold, thank you,” Louis said nodding at Harry again before turning to the camera with a much more serious look on his face. “As most of you probably know, Eleanor and I broke up a few months ago. There are no hard feelings, the two of us are still really good friends, but we broke up for a very special and important reason.”

Harry bit his lip, looking at Louis intensely.

“That reason being that I had feelings for somebody else and have for quite some time now,” Louis continued, moving to put a hand on Harry’s knee.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!” Clare shouted, moving closer to the laptop. Allison stood up with her eyes wide and her hands covering her mouth.

“And that someone is our very own Mr. Harry Styles,” Louis gave Harry’s knee a squeeze and looked over at him. Harry was looking down, grinning at Lou’s hand on his knee.

Allison reached over and started slapping at Clare’s shoulder, apparently out of words.

“Shush!” Clare hissed, even though Allison hadn’t been talking. “I want to hear this!”

“Now, this may come as a shock to most of you,” Harry continued on. “And we hate that there has always been some confusion about our relationship. We just want everyone to know that we never wanted to come across as dishonest and that is why we have both given very vague answers in response to questions about our relationship in the past.”

“Exactly,” Louis said. “So we thought the best way to put it out all on the table, to have you guys hear it as it is, was to tell you ourselves here, rather than in a magazine or something where our words could be mixed up.”

“Which is why we are also recording this as a YouTube video that we will upload later, for everyone who couldn’t tune in live to see,” Harry interjected.

“I can’t breathe,” Allison said, still standing next to the bed. “This is a dream.”

“The fact that we are both boys shouldn’t matter.” Harry went on. “And in an ideal world, it wouldn’t. All that should matter is that the two of us make each other feel happy and safe, which neither of us had felt before we were together. It just seems right.”

“We know people are going to have their own opinions about us,” said Louis, shrugging sadly. “And people are going to make this into a big deal, but really it shouldn’t be. The dynamic of the band will still be the same. We still love all of our fans just as much. Honestly, this has been going on for a while and the fact that we are now open about it shouldn’t change a thing.”

“We thought that some of you might need a bit of convincing though, so we have the rest of the boys here to talk to you as well,” Harry said and in walked Zayn, Niall and Liam. Zayn and Liam took places on either side of Harry and Louis while Niall sat down on the floor, with his back against Harry’s legs.

“Hello everyone!” Niall said with a smile and a wave.

“Right, so as the two lovebirds were saying,” Liam began. “This hasn’t changed the dynamic of the band at all. The three of us love Harry and Louis, and more than anything, we are happy that they are happy. We just want everyone, the fans especially, to know that we support them one hundred percent.”

Zayn nodded in agreement and Niall threw his fists into the air.

“Hundred percent,” Niall repeated. “Hundred percent”

“Okay then,” Louis grinned at the camera and raised his eyebrows. “There you have it. Larry Stylinson is real.”

The rest of the boys laughed, with Niall letting out a full on guffaw and Harry smiling at Louis endearingly.

“We love you guys loads!” Harry shouted, and the last thing audiences saw as Niall reached up to turn the camera off was Harry grabbing Louis’ hand and leaning over to kiss his cheek. 

Allison and Clare both stared at the blank computer screen in shock for several moments, before simultaneously jumping up and down and screaming.

“THEY CAME OUT!”

“I KNOW!”

“THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND THEY CAME OUT AND HARRY KISSED LOUIS ON THE FUCKING CHEEK!”

“AND LIAM CALLED THEM LOVEBIRDS. LOVE. BIRDS.”

“I AM GOING TO DIE. I AM ALREADY DEAD. I AM A GHOST. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.”

“I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE. I CAN’T. I CAN’T EVEN. NOTHING WILL EVER BE AS GREAT AS THIS MOMENT.”

They continued on like that until Allison’s brother started banging against the wall that connected their two bedrooms, shouting at them to please shut up.

“Check twitter,” Clare said. “I wonder if anything is trending.”

Allison hurriedly refreshed her twitter feed to see that there were indeed quite a few trends and that several people had tweeted about the event as well. Larry Stylinson, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, One Direction, and gay were all worldwide trends and the band and some of their family and friends had all tweeted as well.

**zaynmalik1D @zaynmalik  
so proud of haz and lou! vas sappening LOVE.**

**Liam Payne @Real_Liam_Payne  
Could not be more happy for harry and louis. What a great day.**

**Niall Horan @NiallOfficial  
SHOUT OUT TO MY BOYS @Harry_Styles and @Louis_Tomlinson. SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF YOU !! #LarryStylinson**

**Gemma Styles @GemmaAnneStyles  
@Harry_Styles @Louis_Tomlinson proud of my little brother and his boo bear! xx :)**

**Ed Sheeran @edsheeran  
It is an amazing day.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i was with one of my betas while she read this chapter, and she started fanning herself and got super emotional and idk i hope that y'all have the same reaction bc it made me really giddy and happy. 
> 
> basically this entire fic was written for this chapter and the next one so yeah i hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> im on [tumblr](http://www.quixoticvisions.tumblr.com) :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here, have a mushy happy cheesy chapter for harry's birthday

Louis: 

“I think we killed the internet,” Harry said the next morning.

Louis rolled over in bed to see Harry sitting with his back to the headboard, a laptop on his thighs as he scrolled through his twitter feed. 

“I can’t believe we did it,” Louis murmured, snuggling deeper under the comforter. “I don’t think it’s hit me yet.

“It didn’t hit me until a few minutes ago,” Harry admitted, still scrolling. “Until I logged in to see people going nuts.”

“Have you googled us?” Louis asked, curious.

“Not yet,” Harry said, switching over to a new tab to do just that.

Louis scooted over so that he could put his head in Harry’s lap. He moved the laptop down onto to Harry’s knees and tilted the screen down a bit so they could both see. Harry had typed in “Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson” and the first three pages were full of articles that had been written within the past twelve hours, all with headlines like, “Womanizer Harry Styles Shocks Everyone” and “Harry Styles Announces Relationship With Fellow Band Member Louis Tomlinson”. There were also quite a few articles written that wondered how “Recent Girlfriends Lily Collins and Eleanor Calder” felt about all of this.

“Wow,” Louis whispered. “We’re out.”

“I know,” Harry ran a hand through Louis’ hair and Louis turned his head to look up at him. His eyes were soft and he looked so relaxed, a small smile constantly playing on his lips. 

“I haven’t seen you looking this happy in a long time, love,” Louis told him, smiling.

“I could say the same for you,” Harry replied. He tapped Louis on the nose with his index finger before leaning down to kiss him sweetly.

Louis sat up and closed Harry’s laptop, moving it to the bedside table, before turning back to straddle him. Harry’s arms wrapped around his waist instantly, going in for another kiss. It was sloppy and enthusiastic and reminded Louis of how they were when they first got together, when every little kiss and touch was intoxicating and exciting. Except it was slightly different now, because they know each other’s minds and bodies so well, know what drives each other crazy.

“I love you,” Harry whispered as he kissed all over Louis’ face. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” Louis whispered back, kissing Harry’s mouth again. “So fucking much.”

He could feel Harry’s growing erection and grinded his hips down against him as they kissed, causing Harry to moan and reach blindly for the bottle of lube that they usually kept in his bed side table drawer. He pulled back from Louis when he couldn’t find it. Louis looked to his left and down, seeing it laying on the floor in a pile of their clothes. He reached down to grab it.

“Must have fallen last night,” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows as he remembered how desperate they’d been for each other after everyone had finally left.

Harry chuckled and watched on as Louis squeezed some lube into his hand and began to jack them off together. Louis swore when Harry covered his hand with his own and leaned forward and began to suck at his neck, moaning into his skin. He pulled back on a gasp when Louis tightened his hold on their cocks, thrusting into his grip. Harry whimpered and stopped Louis’ hand.

“Wanna come with you in me,” He panted. “Want you in me now.”

Louis pulled back to grab the lube again and Harry slid down the headboard a bit. Louis squeezed the lube onto his already slick fingers and reached in between their bodies to finger Harry open, curling his fingers to brush lightly against Harry’s prostate, dragging it out, teasing. Harry started swearing incoherently and Louis looked up to see his head thrown back and his chest heaving. He looked so beautiful that Louis had to move up to kiss him sloppily, causing Harry to pant into his mouth. Harry reached in between them to wrap a hand around Louis’ cock, squeezing and twisting in ways that would make this all end faster than either of them wanted.

“Okay, stop,” Louis huffed after a bit.

Harry kept his hold on Louis’ dick, and scoffed, “Then stop teasing; I was ready five minutes ago and you know it.”

He guided him down to his hole. Louis crooked his fingers a few more times, eliciting frustrated grunts out of Harry, before pulling his fingers out and thrusting up into him quickly, causing Harry to cry out, biting his lip. 

“Fuck,” Louis groaned as Harry started rising to meet his thrusts, whimpering, his hands twisting in the sheets, and Louis doubted there was anything hotter than watching his boyfriend unravel beneath him with his blotchy red cheeks and sweat slick hair. 

“You close?” He asked Harry when he could feel his impending orgasm. “Because I’m gonna-”

His question was cut off as Harry came with an arched back and a shout, his hands reaching up to twist in his own hair. It was that sight that sent Louis over the edge and he came too, burying his face in Harry’s shoulder. He collapsed onto Harry’s chest and they panted heavily in unison.

“You know,” Harry giggled, the movement causing Louis head to bounce up and down on his chest. “I think uncloseted sex is better than closeted sex.”

Louis rolled his eyes even though Harry couldn’t see him. “You’re such a dork.”

Harry’s fingers started to tap a rhythm onto Louis’ back.

“You love me.”

“I do.”

*****

The next night was their first show as an out couple, and Louis could tell Harry was about to crawl out of his skin with excitement as they arrived at the venue. They got out of the car together and Harry reached for Louis’ hand as they waved at the fans lining the entrance. The fans screamed louder, and when they got closer to the entrance Louis pulled away from Harry to sign autographs and take a few pictures.

“How are you doing, love?” Louis asked a girl with watery eyes who looked to be around Harry’s age. “You all right?”

She nodded and burst into tears. “I just wanted you and Harry to know that you gave me the courage to come out to my family. You are both really inspirational.”  
Louis felt like his heart had stopped and he just stared at her in awe for a moment. He hadn’t expected their coming out to influence others in that way. At a loss for words, he held his arm out to give the girl a hug.

“I’m glad that we could do that for you, darling,” He told her when he finally caught his breath.

“If you could tell Harry for me, too,” she said, wiping tears away from her eyes.

“You can tell him yourself,” he told her, before turning around to shout at Harry. “Haz! Come over here!”

Harry finished taking a picture with a fan and walked over to Louis and the girl, looking at Louis questioningly.

“Tell him what you told me, love,” Louis said to the girl and Harry turned his attention to her, looking politely interested.

“I just told Louis that you guys coming out gave me the courage to finally come out to my family. I don’t know if I would have been able to do it without you guys, so thank you so much.”

Harry’s mouth fell open and he pulled the girl into a hug much more quickly than Louis had done. 

“Okay, lads,” Paul came up behind them. “We need to be going.”

“Did you want a picture?” Harry asked the girl, pointing to the camera in her hands. 

She nodded and Louis took the camera from her, snapping a picture as both him and Harry leaned in and smiled. The girl thanked them again and Louis handed her the camera as Paul started to usher them into the building.

Louis turned to Harry once they were in the dressing room, saw the tears forming in his eyes, and hugged him.

“I didn’t expect that,” Harry told him, his voice soft and awestruck. 

Louis shook his head. “Me either,”

Harry pulled back and brought his hands up to cup Louis’ face, looking into his eyes. “We’re gonna make a difference, Lou.”

Louis reached up to wrap his hands around Harry’s wrists and nodded, feeling overwhelmed. “This is so much more than just you and me. How did we not realize?”

“Oi!” Niall shouted at them as he and Liam came into the room. “What are you two crying for? You’re free!” 

Harry laughed and wiped the tears from his eyes, and then he and Niall started running around the room, flapping their arms like birds singing “Born Free”. Zayn walked in and looked at Louis and Liam with raised eyebrows. Louis shrugged and the two of them joined in, Liam following suit not long after.

“What the hell are you lot doing?” Lou asked when she walked into the room. All five of the boys stopped and started laughing hysterically. 

“We’re freeeee!” Harry said, running up to her. “We’re free, Louise! We’re free!”

Lou just looked at him before sidestepping him and putting her bag down.

“Who’s first?” She asked as she started pulling hairsprays and gels out of her bag. Louis shrugged and sat down. The boys got dressed and ready excitedly, everyone still giddy from the day before.

“Listen up!” Brad, their stage manager, said, appearing in the doorway with The Douche Squad about an hour later.

“Show starts in twenty!” Brad told them. “I want you all backstage in ten!”

All of the boys nodded and then looked to John as he started speaking.

“This show is a big deal, boys.” He said, eying each one of them individually. “Don’t let it scare you.”

He turned to Harry and Louis who were sitting next to each other on a couch.

“You two can do what you do,” He told them wearily. “But we don’t want any excessive PDA. There are parents out there with their young children. They don’t want to see any snogging.”

“We weren’t planning on snogging on stage anyway, mate,” Louis raised his eyebrows, slightly annoyed. “But cheers,”

“Also,” John continued as if Louis hadn’t spoken. “We’re gonna fly all of you out to The States tomorrow. We booked you for the Ellen Degeneres show. It will be a quick trip. We’ll have you on a plane right after taping. We would just send Louis and Harry but they want you as a musical guest as well.”

“Is she interviewing all of us or just Haz and Lou?” Liam asked, raising his hand as if he was still in primary school.

“Just Harry and Louis,” John assured him. “And you’re singing Happily. It’s gonna be the next single. We thought it was fitting with everything that’s going on. You’ll be doing an acoustic version, because we can’t get the whole band there since we promised them a week off. We’ll have someone work with you on the plane to make it all work nicely.”

The band nodded, showing they understood everything and hurried to finish getting ready for the show when John finally left.

*****

For the first time in what felt like forever, Harry and Louis had an interview together. Management had picked Ellen because she had approached them and also because Harry and Louis had asked for a light-hearted first interview, and for once management were taking their requests to heart.

The other boys wished them luck as they waited backstage while Ellen did her comedic bits. They joked around while Niall ate all of the food provided in their dressing room, but Harry and Louis were on before they knew it and they were slightly nervous.

“And now, these two gentlemen are part of the biggest boy band in the world and they have recently broken the hearts of teenage girls everywhere,” Ellen started their introduction. “Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson of One Direction!” 

“We’ve got this,” Harry whispered as they walked out holding hands. They did a few of the stupid dance moves from the Best Song Ever music video as they made their way over to the couch.

“Hey boys,” Ellen said, once they’d each given her a kiss on the cheek and sat down on the loveseat provided. Louis grinned at the seat’s implication. 

“Hello,” they said in unison and the girls in the crowd screamed.

“So that hasn’t changed since you came out, has it?” Ellen joked, motioning to the audience. The crowd laughed and Louis and Harry shook their heads.

“It sure hasn’t,” Harry said with a laugh.

“So, how are you boys doing?” Ellen asked, sitting back and crossing her legs. “It’s been quite a week for you from what I’ve heard.”

“We’re exhausted.” Louis told her, clasping his hands together. “Absolutely knackered.

“Knackered, ay?” she said. “What are you doing right now? Are you on tour?”

The first half of the interview went on like that. Ellen asked how the other boys were doing and showed the audience a video from backstage. Harry and Louis talked about tour and some of the crazy things fans had done in the past few months. The second half was designated to talking about their relationship.

“So, boys,” Ellen said, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat. “Let’s address the elephant in the room.”

“Yes, let’s,” Louis nodded, getting serious. He grabbed Harry’s hand.

“Recently the two of you did a twitcam and made a youtube video where you came out and told the world you’re dating each other.”

“That we did, yeah,” Louis agreed, smiling at Harry who returned the gesture.

“Tell us a bit about that,” Ellen motioned for them to go on.

“Well,” Harry said. “Lou and I are dating and we have been for a while now and we just thought it was time to be honest with everybody and we decided the twitcam would be the most convenient way to tell the world.”

“And how has the feedback been?”

“You know, I’d say it’s about 70% supportive, 30% hate.” said Louis, looking to Harry for confirmation. “For the most part, everyone has been very nice and understanding about it, but I think the other 30% feels like we’ve lied to them. But, what can you do?”

He held his hands up in question and Ellen nodded sympathetically.

“So, how did this happen?” she asked, pointing at the two of them. “How did you two get together, know you liked one another?”

“It was kind of love at first sight to be completely honest,” Harry said bashfully. “And it’s been a roller coaster ever since and we’ve gone through a lot to get to this place.”

Ellen smiled at them fondly. “Well, it seems like you two really care about each other and I’m happy for you. I think you guys are gonna make a huge difference. I’m glad you decided to tell everyone at this point in your career, because One Direction is so popular right now. The two of you are going to be extremely influential.”

“Thank you,” Harry and Louis said with feeling, nodding together. 

“And you haven’t been exactly bashful about your relationship since you came out, have you boys?” she asked them. Louis and Harry knew what was coming but they acted confused anyway.

“We don’t know what you’re talking about?” Harry questioned, faking curiosity.

“Well, we have this footage of you from last night’s concert in London,” she gestured to the screen behind them and the video started playing. The video showed them singing Strong. The clip was of Louis singing the second verse, holding Harry’s hand and looking into his eyes. Harry had bounced closer to kiss him on the cheek as Louis sang, “you make me strong” before running away to sing the chorus.

The video stopped and Ellen looked at them with a shit eating grin on her face.

“So,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“So,” Louis said, feigning innocence. Harry laughed.

“What was that?” she teased.

“That was me singing to Harry and Harry being a lovestruck idiot.” Louis shrugged nonchalantly and the audience laughed.

“You’d be lovestruck too if your boyfriend sang the song he wrote about you, to you while holding your hand on stage!” Harry told the audience indignantly and everyone cooed, including Ellen.

“Well, speaking of singing, we’re about to take a break but when we get back you and the other boys are gonna sing for us,” Ellen said. “What are you gonna sing?”

“We’re going to be singing Happily,” Louis told her. “It’s our new single and it’s about us, so we thought it was fitting.”  
Ellen’s eyes widened as if impressed. 

“So, did you write this one too?” she asked Louis.

“No,” Louis shook his head and gestured to Harry with his thumb. “Harry did.”

Harry bit his lip and looked down shyly.

“Well, I’m excited,” Ellen turned back to her audience. “When we come back we’ll hear Happily by One Direction!”

The boys stood up once they got the signal from the cameraman and walked over to where the few members of their band who could make it were setting up. Liam, Zayn, and Niall walked out as well, causing the audience to scream some more. They waved before settling in and getting ready. There were five stools set up in a slight U shape and the boys sat down. Niall sat in the center with his guitar and Liam and Zayn sat on either side of him, with Harry and Louis on the end, slightly facing one another. 

They gave Ellen’s director a thumbs up when they were ready and he got the audience to quiet down before having Ellen announce them.

“Performing their song, Happily, for the first time on television, here’s One Direction!” she announced. 

The audience clapped as the camera panned over to the band and Niall started strumming his guitar when he got a nod from the camera man. Louis looked up to see Harry staring right at him as he started to sing, “You don’t understand, you don’t understand, what it did to me when you held her hand”. Louis shook his head affectionately at the lyric change.

The audience went wild when Louis and Harry sang the chorus back and forth to each other, each with huge smiles on their faces, and Zayn laughed when Louis changed the lyrics in the second verse to “and if they see my traces in your hair, well sorry love but I don’t really care”, smiling at Harry cheekily, because two could play at the lyric changing game. 

By the time the song was finished, Louis and Harry were grinning maniacally at each other and the other boys were looking on affectionately. The crowd erupted into cheers and Ellen walked over to them with the brightest smile lighting up her face. Louis knew that performance would be all over the internet after the episode aired. The band stood up as Ellen did her outro and Louis looked over at Harry, who mouthed “I love you”, not giving two shits about it being caught on camera and Louis blew a kiss back at him.

Because they were allowed to. Finally, they were allowed to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo, that's it! i hope everyone enjoyed it and thank so much for reading and for your comments and kudos!
> 
> i thought about doing an epilogue but i think it ended nicely so i'm gonna leave it here for now. i might do an epilogue one shot later on :)
> 
> once again, thanks to my betas, [chelsea](http://www.wherestommo.tumblr.com) and [hafsa](http://www.hafsaherazade.tumblr.com). you guys are amazing and i love you a lot.
> 
> and as always, i'm on [tumblr](http://www.quixoticvisions.tumblr.com).


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